Have you ever been so angry that you said something you later regret? Have you ever been so angry that you punched or kicked something? Have you ever been so angry after you have calmed down? You don't even remember what happened almost like you blacked out. Well, i have and that's why today we're gon na be talking about the anger iceberg. This video is part two of another video on emotions and how that affects our human psychology. In that video, we discussed some of the deep rooted struggles i've had in controlling my own emotions, since my profession is day trading, i'm going to be speaking from that perspective, but i believe that this is a topic that relates to everyone in day trading.

There's a thing called revenge trading where, after you've just lost a lot of money, you tried to punish the stock for the injustice it had cost you in poker, it's called being on tilt the moment. You start to revenge trading and over trading is the moment. You keep on losing even more money, and yes that has cost me tens of thousands of dollars in the past before those kind of losses in the past made me re-evaluate my life and had to realize i could not keep on taking those kind of losses or Pretty soon i'll be living a van down by the river, this struggle with emotions, sent me down a journey of therapy and anger management for many many years. Initially, i entered therapy in order to become a better trader, but instead i ended up becoming a better person, and that is far more valuable than anything i could gain in the stock market in this video.

Once again, i'm opening up about my personal story dealing with anger issues and how that had really affected me as a day trader. If you enjoy these kind of videos, please remember to drop a like that really tells me you want to see more of this kind of content in the future before we start full disclaimer. I am not a psychologist, nor a health professional. If you think you may have serious emotional and mental struggles, then please go seek help from a professional, i'm here simply to share my personal experience of what i learned along the way.

Okay, i don't know if he is fully responsible for the concept of the anger iceberg, but i first learned about anger from some of the books by john gottman of the gottman institute. He explained that our anger is actually a secondary emotion and not the primary emotion that we are feeling sounds a little bit confusing yeah. I felt the same way too, but this gets even more interesting. John explains that when we feel angry or enraged, that's usually triggered by another emotion underneath the surface, one that we're not aware of and one that's hidden, which is the primary emotion visualize this like an iceberg picture.

This in your mind, imagine you're riding down a boat and passing an iceberg. No, no, not that one. What you see is this mountain of ice surrounded by water? Did you ever ask yourself what is really underneath? The tip of this iceberg is the entire iceberg. Above the water, or could it be that there's something else underneath the water? What if i told you that usually, we only see 10 percent of the entire iceberg, just the tip above the water and that we're really not aware of the 90 percent.

That's beneath the surface, the same comparison can be made when we feel angry the anger. We feel that strong sense of displeasure and hostility, even though it's overwhelming it's only the tip of the iceberg and the rest of the 90 percent of our true emotion, is hidden. Deep down inside back in summer of 2021, i was trading magenta stock. I had been trading the stock since the beginning of the pandemic, when it was only twenty dollars due to the pandemic and the need for vaccine production increases and the magenta name becoming a well-known household name.

The stock had doubled and quadrupled and went as high as two hundred dollars and eventually, almost five hundred dollars. Until then, madrina stock had been a consistent money maker for me, and this time around was no different. I knew for a fact that, as soon as i got into this trade to buy the dip, the stock is not only going to the moon but going to mars on a tesla roadster, and it was going to make me so rich that i was going to Buy out twitter and take it private. Well, i think we all know what had happened next clearly elon outbid me by exactly 43 billion dollars and maybe a little bit more no.

Instead, what happened is that magenta stock tanks huge from 500 down to 370s in two days? This is a crash of more than 30 percent. This is some penny stock level of a dump, and i was staring at my screen for a whole lot of big loss. I was definitely very very angry. This trade wasn't supposed to go this way.

There are so many reasons that this resulted in a huge loss. My slip-off of risk management breaking my own rule of revisiting a trade after three losses, trading, midday and i just broke so many other rules that had kept me safe for so many years. But due to the rage and hostile state of mind, i was in. I blamed the stupid stock market.

The market is rigged, it's the greedy market makers and the institutional selling, and i resorted to eating a whole culture of ice cream by myself, and i wanted to slap chris rock across the face. Sorry, chris, don't take it personally, while the anger iceberg we talked about earlier clearly indicated that, yes, i was extremely angry, but that was really only ten percent of it. What were the other ninety percent of the feelings i had that led me to feeling such rage. In this case, i definitely felt stupid that i was wrong while i was so sure my plan could not go wrong.

I was also embarrassed that i let myself lose that much of my hard-earned money. I mean this is someone's entire year's salary that i just lost in one day, and i also felt a lot of regret that i made the mistake that i haven't done in such a long time, and i knew that i learned better than to take on this Kind of risk, but if i really felt all these emotions i just mentioned deep down inside, why was i mostly connecting with this overwhelming sense of rage instead? Looking back now, i think it's because as ridiculous as this sounds, anger is really there to protect us. It's our brain's way of keeping us safe from feeling all those other raw emotions i just mentioned deep down inside at the time. I didn't want to feel stupid, embarrassed or full of regrets from that one losing trade, a magenta stock.

Those were awful feelings and they were the same emotions i felt years ago during my struggles in my younger years, which is the root of all those intense feelings. All these emotions together can feel very overwhelming and bring back unpleasant memories or trauma instead of feeling all of them combined. I chose at the time to feel angry instead. Now, obviously, i did not consciously choose to feel anger at the moment.

It's just that anger is so ingrained in our psyche that it's the first thing i felt. However, my mind did subconsciously, choose anger and rage, because this kind of secondary emotion can act as a convenient one to cover up all of our primary feelings, which is feeling vulnerable. The truth is this career of day trading. Full time does not guarantee us a paycheck at the end of every single week like other professions.

It may be one of the only jobs where you can work 40 hours a week and actually lose money. If you don't know what you're doing, but this is a trade-off, i was willing to make when i quit my miserable 9 to 7 job many years ago, at the end of the day as a trader, i'm always vulnerable in ever-changing market volatility and, of course, vulnerable To my very own emotions and how i might act in the market and my loss on madrina stock reminded me how vulnerable i could be every single moment in every trading day and that really felt awful. So choosing anger could act as a convenient escape from feeling vulnerable feeling. Anger feels more powerful and ironically, more in control.

At the moment, as weird as this sounds rage and hostility were the opposite of feeling vulnerable feeling. Angry is not always a bad thing. It's a negative emotion, but it's natural for us humans. Anger does have a purpose to protect our raw feelings, but we just have to be careful in recognizing that the feeling of power we get from feeling angry is really temporary and at the end of our rage we might be feeling worse off than before.

So we really owe it to ourselves our loved ones, and also our trading accounts sake to recognize that anger is just the tip of the iceberg and that there is a whole lot of other stuff going on inside. Like we mentioned in the last video, you have to allow yourself to feel all these emotions and recognize them as they come always using anger to mask off our true feelings of vulnerability inside it's a never-ending negative cycle that could often spill into our daily actions. It could lead to lashing out innocent people, substance, abuse and, of course, revenge trading and losing even more money, which then would restart that anger cycle again. If you've had similar experiences when it comes to that feeling of a deep rooted anger like i did, or even just uncontrollable emotion, a good starting point to all this is to recognize that there is a cycle to all these emotions.

Anger management professionals refer to this. As the aggression cycle remember, the bad feelings have to come out before the good ones can come back in and the best way to start. This process is to attempt to understand yourself and know what you are truly feeling write it down in a journal like the exercise we mentioned in the last video talking to friends or loved ones. That you can trust is also a good starting point and if you don't have one of those in your inner circle, there are support groups for that as well.

If you're struggling out there just know that you are not alone and remember to take these steps one day at a time feel free to share your stories with me in the comment section below if you're comfortable. I hope that my story somehow made a small positive impact on your journey. Thank you guys so much for watching. As always, i'm the humble trader and i'll see you guys next time you.