The first one you ready, i wrote down the word patience. Yes, what i wrote down was your dad my dad us we're, like bricklayers, right sort of metaphorically, whether it's building the story of our life or we're building the you know the the castle. If you will, metaphorically most people struggle with patience and at a time like this, when i think it's really important, what are your thoughts around patience, especially for young or rock star real estate professionals? You know, patience is um a true business strength, true business strength, true life strength, that is uncomfortably not cool, which is why i think i got on it about three to five years ago, very loud um. I think it actually is a byproduct of people's deep need to seem successful to others, yeah 100 percent - and you know a lot of the way i think about homes and other assets, or even calling yourself an entrepreneur.

Come from this. I think people over extend themselves across the board on everything, from clothes to um, to homes, with a 80 to 90 percent being grounded in other people's opinions. Right and i think that when you can eliminate that judgment, whether it's your parents or your neighbors or the joneses or social media, all of a sudden patience becomes easier. But when you're, when you're living under your means, instead of over your means - and you do worry about like people thinking - you drive a shitty car - you know, then all of a sudden you know patience becomes harder.

So i think patience actually has a very close correlation to confidence, um and uh. I think about that a lot, i'm a big big, big fan of patience. I really am. I think it really really matters.

What do you, if you were sitting with someone today who just like they get it, but they don't apply it? What would you say or do i think so many people get it and ask them. Why yeah? That's the that's the thing i poke out with friends and family. I'm like why and and again when you have like an hour and a half over dinner and some glasses of wine or three hours in the backyard or or you work with them, and you get the answer over a week. A lot of it comes down to judgment, eventually, you'll eventually you'll get something like well.

My brother has a home in connecticut or because my dad's been looking or you know, always all my friends in college are married. You know like you're gon na get somewhere eventually to a place where they're going to say something about someone else and that's the trigger. That's the insight, that's the that's the hook, that's the hook! That's when i jump in and i'm like. Please please, let's debate this because living your life predicated on that judgment is gon na often lead to not a happy place like what do you want like? Are you like? I was super content in my crappy apartment in my 20s because it was super close to the store, and i you know i like waking up at 8, 30 and being in the store by nine.

You know like, like you, know, that kind of stuff, the practicality which means practicality, because i just couldn't hear the noise from the outside, whether that was my parents, my siblings, my friends, you know the broader world and that really helped me. It helped me be happy and that's ultimately what i want for people. I want them to be happy and unfortunate. A lot of people associate money with happiness, and it just it is so obviously not true and that's why some of these things, like patients, have become very important building blocks for me to communicate around, especially as i felt that more people were following me.

I started to convert from you know, being flattered to feeling obligated, and so i started stretching myself over the last half decade to really challenge myself and figure out. Why has this worked for me? What's working for me and how and how do i communicate these things and end up being a lot of soft skills and traits that haven't historically been associated with alpha business leaders and that's, i think, what's been a little bit unique about it and and has been Enjoyable to go through that process, yeah people, uh people - don't get that you can have an enormous capacity to care and be a great business leader. That's right, i think people think business is too much dog eats dog like step on people and yeah. I just don't see it that way.

I see the world far more abundant than those individuals. Let's talk marketing for a second, i mean your branding is fantastic. Thank you right branding is amazing. It's important right.

It's eye-catching marketing actually makes the the cash register ring. So what worked in terms of marketing? What didn't work in terms of marketing um networking seems to have worked, but does that drive people to the room like? Does it get people to show up? What really helped was the instagram and it's something that i call a beautiful mistake yeah, because i started the instagram early on, not because this is going to go famous. This is going to go viral. You know i like this program, so i'm going to use a program that i feel comfortable using and once i opened i was wondering what are people going to think? Maybe are they going to like these? Were my fears the night before yeah, but then, when everybody was coming in taking selfies taking photos, people wanting to rent out the space for parties? I was like you like it too.

So that really did help me was presenting an experience, not just an item, not just a service. We all do. Services like coffee shops are plagued all over san diego, but it's also offering the customer an experience. So i cut that early on within the first week.

Music selection is very important. Scent is very important. Yes, atmospheres are important, the lighting is very important. I mean i music is very important.

Even everything is very important. It's an experience. Yes, that's what sets you, apart from your neighbor from any other person out there with their own business? So then the branding and the marketing everything is through instagram and i always hone down on the branding, and i look at it's like. Is this easy for me to understand? Is it too busy? Is it too this and this so i over analyze everything over critique it when others are like it's fine, it works.

I don't like fine geraldine, but you ask good questions, because when you look at a lot of people's marketing, it's way too busy right, there's not enough white space or pink space right. It's not! It's not clean they're trying to throw everything at you all at once, and then they wonder why they get no response well, for starters, like this got launched in november, so i wasn't in this bubble. Yet in the beginning it was just the menu yeah and i love the in and out style where it says it's easy. It's simple: they focus on a couple items, but they do it tremendously.

Amazing. Yes, that's what i wanted yeah. I wanted a very clean, easy to read menu, so everything was the geraldine way the way i wanted yes, because i don't have any any previous experience, so, yes, i was only going by how would i'm i'm thinking as a diva? How do i want to see this yeah? So that's the way i took it and i was just hoping for everyone to like it, and so luckily it worked. Did you get some early feedback with the things that they didn't like um? They didn't like that.

I have dairy free options, everybody wants milk, they didn't like that. I don't have refined sugar, you know, you know it's just the market yeah a couple things, but no one has ever said that i'm aware of i mean people have said it's too pink sure. But that's the whole point of it yeah. Why matcha is not it's matcha.

I think that they're just used to everything being a little bit neutral, which is fine yeah but yeah. I thought if this is going to be my child, i'm going to dress up my child the way i want my child to look like yeah, so there's definitely there's a lot of feedback with the 95 of it is positive, yeah and it fuels me. I love it all right. Let's go a totally different direction.

Do you ever feel like quitting? No, not once no, not once you ever miss payroll, no! Okay! How do you handle marketing finance legal leases, hr payroll? Who does it all me? How do you do all that, and and do you work the counter as well? Yes, well, i'm not there right now, but i was there yesterday at this i mean i can get really deep into this. Yes, i come from it's all the way i was raised. Yeah, so my dad has a phd he's, a doctor surgeon. My mother is an accountant.

She has her mba. My three older brothers are doctors, so i had a lot of pressure. Yeah no excuses, so it's you want something you figure it out doesn't matter. If you care about someone, but if you don't put it out there, it doesn't matter if you care about them or not yeah.

So i was raised very strict in a very strict culture, very demanding so an excuse of oh. I can't take this or oh, my god, i'm just so stressed and overwhelmed. I can't do this that i mean i would get slapped if i would ever say that so it's possible just i'm just not lazy yeah, i'm just not lazy, and so i vent okay. I vent, i complain a little bit to who, but i to my husband and to my mother yeah they they are.

I mean what about your employees? Don't you complain to them? No, it's a different aspect, sometimes no sometimes sometimes i do just to show because for me it's very important to be authentic and to not have people think that i have it all together or that i'm always happy for me. It's very important to show people that listen. I am very very stressed. I have all this stuff i'm dealing with, but i'm still pushing through, because for me it's not just about having employees, pay them shut up.

Do your time get out of here. It's for me to actually build strong humans, so if someone's going to work for me, they're going to be inspired and they're going to come in not weak but so-so, and then once they leave they're going to come out with a different perspective of wow, like i Thought i had it this bad, but i can, you know, be more hustlers, be more pushers, yeah. So more that to me is very important, so i just don't see them as numbers on my payroll sheet. I see them as people that represent me, people that represent my brand, and so it's very important for me to also connect with them and show them.

You know i'm dealing with this, but hey. I still showed up we're still killing it and hope that it inspires them as well. Yeah, 2014 and 2015 were my heaviest years. I was at my biggest weight and i started to just have this vision, because my job was to go, get the star agent to start at the company and like take us to the top, and i started to get a vision.

I was like what, if that was me, i was like because i don't feel right as a manager like i'm, not passionate about it. It's not what i was put on this planet to do. Um i was like i want to be a star agent. I was like i just can't do it looking like this and um, and that was always in the back of my head sure i always in the back of my head in 2015, i was at a fish concert and i was uh out of my mind.

A little bit with a friend and you haven't seen the documentary by the way, have you seen the documentary? No, not yet. Oh my god. It's insane! Yes, yeah! Sorry keep going so uh. So anyway, i was there with the same friend who got me into real estate, the guy for craigslist and uh.

We were dancing, and i uh came so close to fainting, like it was the first time that it ever happened to me and i had to like sit down and now i can think of many reasons why you would have been fainting at a fish concert. It was just because i was like dehydrated and overweight and like trying to dance, it could not keep up yeah and uh, and it was definitely my weight. It was and uh - and i just started sobbing in the middle of this concert, and we were all in this big outdoor arena and david sat down next to me, and i remember looking at him. I was like as soon as i get back to the city.

I was like i'm making an appointment, i'm getting weight loss surgery. I was like i'm gon na take over the world and uh and he was like all right he's like do it, and i did. I went back. It was literally like the next day.

I had an appointment with my doctor. Two months later, i had weight loss, surgery, um, which was december of 2015 um and then by august of the next year. I was down 200 pounds and i would say so. This was where my real estate group, you know, but i'm going to dig in on this first before because i know i know i know what i mean.

I know you know that story i know, but i want them to know yeah. You know there. Uh there's been uh a lot of positive and a lot of controversy around that surgery. Of course, right and like you know, you get people that say i was liberated and you get some.

You know some haters out there. That say, you know you're going to put it back on you. You need the discipline and, like so like to walk us through that like because now today you put it on like a badge of arnor, you know armor, and you tell i tell millions of people on television like i did this totally right yeah and i love That thank you, love and respect the fact that you've done that i i get mixed feedback and i was expecting. I was expecting that going into it.

Of course um you know so. My my mother allows me to tell this story. Don't worry but uh. She had a lap band, probably like 15 years ago, yeah uh lost a ton of weight, uh ended up having a ton of complications had to have it removed, and in that moment i remember i was like i'll, never have weight loss surgery and i was like It's not for sure, and i was like it's not gon na happen.

It doesn't work, it doesn't work and it almost killed. My mother and hello, negative right and then, like four years after she had that done. She switched and had the sleeve done, and i was so mad because i was like. Why are you doing this again? I was like you're.

I was like we've already seen this and um she switched to the sleeve and then like two. She looked amazing and, like two years went by and then like four years my body just still looked amazing and i was like well. I was like. Maybe i think maybe i want to try that so um, but that's such a vulnerable thing.

I mean you know, look people talk about vanity and uh and look there's, there's no doubt that that has you know, ruled part of the world for as long as we've existed. Um did you think you could have done it without it? I i had failed at it enough times to know that uh, you know people don't really look at food as the addiction that it is yeah and like when people really don't understand it. I'm like do you know somebody who's, an alcoholic or a drug addict who's like in your family right. I was like if there was a procedure that they could have, that would cure them or greatly increase their chances of curing them.

I was like: would you be open to them? Trying it, but because food is socially acceptable, because we can still show up to work, we can still get our jobs done. People just don't think about it. The same and probably the most, the largest population of addiction probably goes to food. I don't know that for sure.

But theoretically, if you look at the numbers in the us of uh people that are overweight and then every people that are obese and the number of young like teenagers that are obese, one could make the argument that that that's that's where i'm deducing and i'm just Like i haven't run the numbers yeah but yeah, you know we can google that i mean it's right. So so, let's go back, you do the surgery and, and it doesn't you don't transform overnight, but what started to transform after the surgery. So it's it's. You lose a lot of weight really fast, the first two or three months so um i lost literally like 100 pounds, the first three months, and so it was insane right.

I think tristan weighs 100 pounds yet, but the crazy part is firstly while um when you're that overweight yeah, when you i remember, i had lost like 80 pounds, and that was just when people started to notice. That's how overweight it was because people were like you're like you'll. Also wait like what 20 pounds. Probably right and i was like you are dead to me: you're, like we're 80., i'm like coming up on 100 actually, but thank you um, and so the hard part is is right.

After i lost it, can't the weight loss came to a screeching halt and i went from losing a couple pounds a day. Sometimes too it was like a month and nothing had changed yeah and i was like, but i'm still 100 pounds overweight. Like i said, i still have yes a journey ahead of me and so then now the work begins right. Exactly yeah and i didn't know it, it was like it was like my higher power came down and was like.

I got you we're gon na. Do something special right now and some would say no one would feel bad for her because of if she wasn't positive, because of how much cyber bullying and bullying and just just ignorance that you've had to deal with in your life. So so talk to us about that, like i think everyone listening has had an experience in their life where things didn't go their way or someone said something that bothered them or said somebody said something in them that they carried around for years. You know in your ted talk you, you talked about using this negativity, almost as fuel for greatness in your life.

Can you shed some light on that? I mean i i guess with age comes more experience and more wisdom and a few years ago. Yes, i would be seen as this person who is so optimistic and so positive at all times, but the reality is. I was showing you what i wanted you to see and i was the one who was saying: yes, i'm positive all the time. Yes, it's going to be.

Okay, like i was the one saying this, but the reality is. That was not my reality. Yes, it's a huge part of my life and yes, it is my truth, but i'm human and there are days where i wake up and i'm like i'm not going to be happy today and i'm just letting it go and before i would hide that, like big Time - and i would absolutely i would do whatever i could to make sure the image or the story or the message that i was putting out - whether it was in person or online was happy, even though i knew i'm posting this thing on instagram about being positive And i'm crying while i'm posting it, because i'm sad about something else, and so for many years. I thought if i am now going to sort of be on this pedestal of inspiration.

That's the only thing that i can show because that's what people are wanting and needing - and you know apparently liking - and it got to a point where i was putting out so much that i wasn't getting anything in to me, and so i was like. I cannot say it's gon na get better one more time. I cannot say just ignore it. It'll be fine one more time, and so it finally got to a point where i had to really just look in the mirror and say you are human, it's! Okay to doubt yourself, it's okay to feel like things are never going to get better.

All these things are normal and slowly but surely i started being able to. I remember i wasn't ready to like put it out in social media, so i started testing the waters. When i would go do my speeches - and i would throw in like a little story of like a time where i was really struggling or something that happened, that nobody knew about, and i got a really good reaction, and i noticed that i was feeling like. I was having my own therapy in a way, and i was getting this place, this safe place to be able to go and tell all of these strangers.

You know something very vulnerable about me, and so i went from being able to do that in my speeches. So then, now being at a point where i can be my most authentic and vulnerable self, on any platform anywhere and in person, it's pretty liberating, oh it is it is. It feels so good to be able to just say you know what here's the situation. This is how i feel what really matters here is how i handle it tomorrow, yeah my uh, my first speech, coach god bless him is uh this guy ron arden, and he would say you know if all you do is go out and act, positive, positive, positive, Positive eventually, everybody's going to say that person's full.

You know what right he said, but if you're vulnerable and you speak truth or you tell stories that you know where you got punched in the face where it didn't work out, where you didn't get the sale where life didn't go your way, you're just more real, Because that, because everyone deals with it, someone's listening right now, who's going to say, but because i've heard it, i guarantee you've heard it more than i have, but joseph i'm just lying to myself. Then yeah and - and i agree with you, you are, but you know what you're lying to yourself the other way as well yeah, you know which lie. Are you going to tell the most if you're saying that everything is bad? You know the the three p's that we talk about. We think that it's permanent, pervasive and personal, if you're lying to yourself and saying it's all about me, i'm doing terrible and and the world is terrible and all these things that's some of that is true.

But what you're forgetting is that there's, like you, said earlier in real estate, there's so much opportunity out there right now, it's unbelievable! How much opportunity there is um! So it's it is. You know a lie, means that you know better and you're, saying it anyway, yeah. If i say to you, you know: hey, listen, your shirt is is yellow. I know it's blue.

You guys can't see this if you're listening to it. I know it's blue, but i'm lying because i say that it's yellow okay, but there's a part of me. That knows that it's blue. So if i, if you know it's a lie, then if you're saying yeah joseph you're great - and you can do that - and this is the truth and everything what you're forgetting is that you're lying because there's so much great going on as well.

Exactly there's always last thing on that is i'll, say that um, it was napoleon hill who said within every adversity lies the seed of equal or greater benefit. Look for it as you seek so shall you find so i've gotten through question number one. You knew what you were getting into. Of course i was like this would be the first seven and a half hour tom ferry podcast experience um.

So i want to go back to psychology right because you know i talk about mindset. You talk about mindset, everybody talks about mindset and you're right. It is a set of beliefs. You have about something, but when you talk about psychology, it's really about like an operating system yeah it is.

It is right absolutely so if i wanted to reinstall an operating system to change my life forever, how do i do that? First you've got to go it there's a there's, a process. If you will okay, you know what i love. I knew i could ask you this question and you would have the answer of course, i'm taking more notes than anyone else right now. Okay, let's go well.

First off there are steps to go through step number one know what you want. Look where you want to go yep. In other words, if you say i got a problem like like, for example, people come into my office when i was, i did my regular practice and i'd go. What do you want and they go? I feel terrible.

I'm depressed and i go okay, what do you want and they go uh? You know things are going so bad for me and i go. What do you want and they go i'm depressed and i go. What do you want to go? I literally had a guy say this to me: i swear to god. He said this to me.

He goes. Depression washes over me like a scalding, hot wave of debilitating emotion, leaving me paralyzed, i'm not laughing at him. I know, but that is he has reframed that yes and created such a beautiful narrative. He probably tells that to everyone, and he tells more specifically, he tells it to himself because our words, which is going to be part of this formula here, our words, have the ability to change our own biochemical makeup, the blood that courses through our bodies and so Number step number one is know what you want.

You know you're in specific, clear and very as specific as you possibly can and write it down. Yep. Now i don't and you're sitting here with an ink pen. It's become a lost art with our cell phones and - and you know i know i'm guilty of it as well.

I i can't remember the last time i actually texted like with my thumbs. I always talk to it, but i'm saying write it down. What you write is what you invite yeah, what you don't is what you want so get out old school patent paper. You know pencil and paper journal whatever and write it down.

Here's how i want to feel here's what i want to believe. Here's, what i want! The exact you know in all those areas in your you know, i call it being wealthy, healthy, happy and financially abundant yeah. That's that's real wealth to me um. So what do i want in those areas and what happens is, as we start to write that stuff down all that that we were just talking about conversation comes up.

Oh i'm, not good enough! I'm not smart enough! I'm too black, i'm too white! I'm too short! I'm too tall and all that stuff comes up. That's your opportunity, yeah, because now you know, remember the steps i talked about before you know the pattern interrupt the pattern. Okay, so step number one is know what you know. What you want step number two is always know your reasons why you want it and when i say know it write it down.

Awareness is always the first step, and when you write it down, then your brain, then you do. What i call re-member dismember means take apart to remember, means to align and connect your conscious mind with your unconscious mind when you lose your keys. There's a part of you that knows where you put your damn keys. Okay, but your conscious mind is going.

I don't know where my keys are. I don't know where our keys are so they're disconnected. So when you, when you finally find those keys, guess what connected remember, okay, so the trick to to step number two is you're gon na go! Oh here's! The reason why i'm doing this, my kids, you know buying a house for my mother. It doesn't have to be as as noble as things like that it can be yeah.

I just want you know, i'm doing it because it makes me feel good to drive a ferrari if you had to just sort of whittle down two or three or four sort of leadership. Lessons, because you've you've been dropping them all along. But you know for you like, if you think about what are the, what are the two three things that like, if someone just says how do i become a better leader like what are those two or three things for you, yeah um, i would say number one: Don't don't discount your worth, know your own worth and that you can add value but never force it on the person that you're expecting a promotion from you can't force that you can demonstrate. You can explain you can if there's a little crack of a door.

You got to know when to run through, but you can't force it. I would say: that's probably number one just know your worth know. You're, probably can do a lot more, but just drop hints that are appropriate hints when you can so that they believe it's their idea. Yeah.

Oh, that is to see that right there. That's the secret sauce, so so that you're talking about being in a leadership role and still having someone you're reporting to right, because you want to continue to move up and that could be that could be in an organization that could be an agent on a team That wants to ascend it's the same exact thing, making it their idea is the secret sauce it is, it is, that's, probably the one of the biggest nuggets. The other thing is that geez, don't don't as a leader um and i would tell i would say you can ask anybody in our corporate office from accounting to whatever division i.t. I think every one of them would say that i am willing to roll up.

My sleeves and do the dishes in the kitchen if they need to be done just like anybody else, i don't expect anyone to do anything, i'm not willing to do myself yeah and then just realizing that as the leader, the biggest component for me, and i do Think it's actually healthy. Is that it's just not about me it it's not about me. It never is i don't want it to be. Actually, it would make me very uncomfortable right because my success is the total combination and the collective effort of a group moving in the right direction and in the same direction.

It's awesome, and that leads me back to my my time here, two years. So i've kind of gone two years, two years, two years, two years of learning, two years of beginning to make a few changes that i think needed to be made. And two years of here we go yeah. And now now we just the sky's the limit and i'm just so excited for it.

It's awesome we're in a good place. One of the things i want to talk to you about is like team leaders and, and even you know, smaller smaller brokers. That might be listening to us that, like the the great line that we have a tendency to overestimate what we can accomplish in a year and dramatically underestimate what could be accomplished in 10 years right and you just said - hey two years of just learning the people. Two years of making just a little like some little adjustments and then two years of like now, i've got everybody's trust.

Let's start hitting the gas pedal, and you know now now you're exactly right. It's the next four years, where you really get the accelerated growth. Why do you think everyone is so addicted to thin thighs in 30 days or less i want to? I want to go from seven to 700 transactions on a tuesday. Our world is most fast because our technology and the input of information is so fast that we think we can also give that same speed.

We can't we're human beings. Technology is not us, we're not it. We have to use it to our advantage, but we're completely different animals, and we have to respect those different roles and understand how to use those things that help propel the speed really effectively, so that we can actually move the dial. But you can't neglect.

You know you, you don't have one big giant dial, you have these little dials and every one of them is as important as the other. You have to give them their just just due diligence. So so it's interesting one of the things i want to talk to you about. I actually wrote down um management methodology.

You know eos okrs, 4dx, there's there's all these different ways to to essentially have a management approach to your business, and i know you know gino, who has been a dear friend for i you know i cold called gino when i was 19 years old trying to Sell him a ticket to a mike ferry event like that's how far back we go. Of course, i sold him come on. How do you think i got him as a client 1850 to 2020 every 15 years? Something new happens. You know i think of franchise because you know.

Certainly i know that remax right teams - i buyers. You know 100 percent right re max roll ups of big brokerage companies um six years before legitimacy, nine to ten years before they're accepted and then 15 years they're a part of the fabric of of the way. We do it and you're saying now: it's the private equity in tech, but what do you think happens to how agents interact and how they transact - and you know where do you see that going in 2020 end of the year 2021? What are the? What are the bets? That agents need to be placing if you will in their business now to be ready for the future, because that's what all my people want? Three three totally different angles to approach that i believe tom. The first is that i think human nature is, it doesn't change easily and we are very stubborn as a people and we will go back to our bad habits right.

That's why dieting and stopping to smoke and losing weight and all those things are relatively hard for more majority of people. So i think many of the bad habits that we may have had or the the less than healthy habits or the less than than social distancing habits. I think we will probably forget about some of this stuff in the not too distant future. That's one big chunk.

A second chunk which i think we will carry over yes, we do now have a better understanding of concepts like social distancing, which we've never had um. So, yes, we will probably keep some level of zooming and video calling. I think i am no longer going to go to you know: 100 events a year tom, if you're gon na, do it. God bless you, i'm not going to.

So i'm i'm cutting my 100 trips down to probably 20.. I mean i'm going to cut it way. Back down - and i am only going to go to meaningful events and the really big ones, not that i want to be derogatory to the smaller ones, but i i will zoom you or i will participate in another kind of a way. So i think, less events less travels more circuit carry over, which does mean we'll probably handle open houses a little differently.

We probably will have more video equipment, we'll probably have more virtual tours, we'll probably have a different way to allow people to get into the houses balance that with the fact that we still have this human nature of defaulting to. What's the easiest right, because this other one requires me to come up with a whole new paradigm, that's hard work, that's effort, so i'm not sure which one will win. I don't think it's a winner. Take all! I think it's you know part of both and then i think the third one is.

I think we have to understand that that our buyer, our consumer, our seller, he and she herself and himself have also changed and therefore not only is it what we as agent, whether we're you know, coldwell banker or era or sotheby's or berkshire hathaway or or whichever Brand independent first first team in your area right any any individual brand. Not only do we want to change, but our client has changed, so our client is going to probably say you know what, if corona 19 turns out to become sorry, corona 19 turns out to become corona, 20 or corona, 21 or 22. Maybe i should think a little bit ahead and maybe i want a slightly bigger lot than i have now yeah. Maybe maybe i want that extra room which i wasn't sure i could afford because i'm going to be working from home more honey.

So i need that extra study honey. I i thought i had to stay in downtown because we've always loved downtown we've loved the the bars and the pubs and the and the stuff. But you know i'm now ready for the the suburbs. We thought we were going to go to the suburbs only 10 years from now, i'm so ready for the suburbs.

I want that white picket fence and a dog and a cap right. So i do think that the consumers, again only those that can afford it yeah. There are many consumers for which my heart goes out, that are skinning by by their teeth and can't afford the luxury of choice they're forced into whatever comes their way is so sad for them, but that 10 20 30 of the market that can afford choice. I think is going to start changing the decision of maybe not staying in the in the center of town, maybe not staying as much in a you know, thousand square foot apartment and if they can afford it, maybe looking for something with a little bit more breathing Space with a study or a family room, or something like that, a home office, maybe a home office, a pool.

You know it's interesting, i was um. I follow uh. You know a lot of interesting characters on twitter and spencer roskoff, who we both know, who i'm actually i invested in. I think two of his other uh.

You know new ventures who i just think the world of super super bright guy super interesting and obviously you know former uh ceo of zillow um. He tweeted out the other day kind of. Do you think that you know buyers expectations will change? Do you think sellers expectations will change? Do you think buying patterns will change something along these lines and and basically somebody made the point of hey look after 9 11 in new york, the hallucination was, nobody is going to want to live downtown and - and there was this sort of like mindset of everybody's, Going to leave the city everybody's going to leave the downtown environment and guess what none of that happened, knowing what you know now, if you were talking to somebody that was two or three years in the business and they were struggling, they were just you know, like Just a hard time getting their feet on the ground and really creating any any type of momentum. You've already dropped a bunch of very good points, but i would ask you this right very pointly.

What are the three to five most important things, someone that is struggling to get the momentum and keep it? What do they need to do? You said you said prospecting you said, create some measurable degrees of separation, but tell me some things are not business related. You have to get disciplined in your life, yes, well, i think that's the number one thing, and i i remember reading the miracle morning and saying: oh, these people are crazy. Who does that like who wakes up? I'm like i have i'm a single and again the whole victim mentality. Oh i'm, a single mom there's no way i can do this.

I started waking up early and doing the same thing every morning and it just sets the tone for your entire day and for your entire life. So you have to get disciplined about things that bring success, and it's not just me if you read about anyone, who's super successful, there's something that they do every morning. So you have to get disciplined in your life if you're not disciplined in your life, you're not going to have success in the business or you might have success, but it's not going to be consistent and i know it. I've lived it.

I've seen other realtors that are not realtors anymore. I've seen how the people focusing more on the look of their brand instead of their craft and instead of you know what do you do every day to get clients right? So i think discipline is number one yeah. So discipline morning, routine discipline prospecting and i love how you said: discipline your craft right because a lot of people you know they they want the fancy photos. They want the great looking video they want, the beautiful brochure, but it's like no, no earning that.

Like a. I have a friend of mine who makes knives i'm another friend who makes wine small batch. They don't do a lot of it, but they do it with so much passion, intensity and discipline that the product is extraordinary right. I mean i'm hearing kind of the same thing, so discipline is number one.

What's number two, i would say uh, not just discipline but practice and just learning all the time you need to know the business i remember. Even before i was in coaching, i was watching your videos on youtube all the time i was listening to your podcast all the time i was reading the blog every single day. You know even ryan sirhan. He has a lot of really amazing videos on youtube.

Uh. There's a girl, lloyd velazquez, who, of course, that cold calling. So i would every day you need to you need to get better because you want to out work other realtors. You want to make sure that you know more about the business.

You know how to handle objections and also how to present yourself and how to speak, to sellers, how to speak to buyers, but you can't just learn that, like just by yourself, you need to and we're so lucky that we have all these videos now. It wasn't like that before yeah right, like i, have followed other realtors, i've done open houses for other realtors. You have to learn. You have to learn every day.

It's not just once in a while, you go to summit or you go to yeah marketing edge. Just one time, no ever all the time you need to learn, you need to read. So i think that's the second most important thing just always always looking to educate yourself yeah, and i like how you said it too, because because again, there's 50 000 agents in your marketplace and you're competing all the time. And we talk a lot about the sea of sameness, we're going to talk about marketing a lot today, but that sea of sameness, where most people, just everybody, just kind of looks and acts the same.

What are you going to do to stand out right, so you got to learn. You got to figure out what everybody else is doing. Somebody that's doing something well in montreal or new york city, or you know a person in miami. You can emulate and borrow r d and then do it your way.

So what's number what's number three i would say number three would be to get really on top of it on social media. Okay. So when i started off again, i had no budget. That's when i started on instagram, because i said okay what's free and where is there a lot of people? So that's a that by the way it's a good strategy.

What's free, where all the eyeballs are exactly. You know whether it's even other realtors right, some people say: oh well, there's a bunch of realtors following me. You never know. I have realtors in my own market who have given me referrals, because i speak french yep yeah, so yeah just getting it right on instagram and facebook.

I think those are the top top well now. There's tick tock, of course, but the easiest ones where you can find people easily is are those two platforms and you need to be on it. Every single day you exude a level of confidence that that i certainly experience. I see other people experiencing it and, and then we see so many people that they just don't have it right that they're searching for it um.

You know you've worked with a lot of people as i have. If you had to just divert kind of off you for a second and say if somebody wants to develop more confidence, whether it's to go on the high end or start a business or or just have a little more swag on their next listing appointment, what do They do what would be your your sort of tips for developing confidence yeah, it's so hard. You got to fake it till you make it right yeah. I am the actors deal with that, all the time uh, you know they go in there, they're scared shitless, but they got to act.

You know for that 30 seconds that they're doing that scene in order to get that job. They just got to act it out right. So when you go in for a listing appointment when you're delivering you know talking to a buyer, you just need to pretend you need to act. You need to become an actor until you develop it right.

Uh. You need to get away, you know i i i can tell you. I always talk about fear right. It's it's getting over fear the fear of rejection, the fear of of of not performing the fear of getting fired.

All of those things right. You can talk about it as confidence or you can talk about it as fear right. They both kind of go, they both do go hand in hand right, and so we have to fake it till you make it um, but the way you fake it to you make it is you can't fake stats? You can't fake a knowledge right, so in order to fake your character, you got ta, have the education right. So if i'm selling corona del mar or i'm selling newport well, damn i better know the tax rolls.

I better know every owner of every house. I better know every deal that went down the last three years, uh or five or ten years right. I better know every active listing i've been in every pocket listing and a better reagent right. So now, when i get in front of somebody when i actually have to fake my confidence, i can fake it because i have the knowledge to actually speak about it right.

So you first, you need, you need to fake the character, but you need to have the knowledge and you need to to to be able to support the fake. It's so interesting. You say this uh, but a buddy of mine who uh who i've interviewed now twice on our podcast. He wrote a book called the alter ego and, and he works with actors and - and you know, a lot of athletes - a lot of professional athletes that you know take bo jackson as an example.

When bo jackson walked onto the field, he was no longer bo jackson. He became someone else or uh sasha fierce in the world. Right, certainly not, certainly not michael jordan, where he was the best winner in the world, because snapchat was probably the best athlete in the world. No doubt we take um, sasha, fierce right, aka, beyonce, and, and so there is like, when you said fake it till you make it.

I was a little bit nervous until you went there because you're right like it's, you have to become that person, but you can't do that. Like you said, without the data, the data is how you get out of the right brain fear, emotion and you get into the validation left brain logic. So so tell me just for fun and diverting again here, but before we started this podcast you and i were just getting caught up on the market and what's going on like at this point in your career, how much time do you spend looking at the data In the market and what's your process well, every day, uh, i look at the data in the market, so you know i'm looking at at all data. I i start right now.

I start with uh we're particularly now during covet times and try to understand where our, where we're gon na find the floor, where we're gon na start, seeing you know pipelines, movements, etc, etc. So i start every day i look at showing time every day. I'm sure you're familiar with it right, of course, look at that every single day, which to me is the first indicator of. Are there going to be more sales right? Are there buyers looking? Is there nobody? Looking so to me, that's the first indicator then.

After that, then i look at you know: uh the pipeline, all openings of all escrows across the city across the counties across wherever we are located at right. So that leaves that that tells us how much is opening? How much is actually selling how many people are out there looking how much is actually selling, then i look at how much is actually closing, what's falling out? What's closing and are we keeping up with that pipeline because, if we're keeping up with it replacing closings with openings, we found our floor right. So to me, i need to find the floor right as an eight that so that's the ceo's had that's the agency's hat. You know, then, i start looking at pricing and volume and all that stuff as a broker as an agent, i'm looking at the mls every single day, my hot sheets, the areas i work, what's going in, what's going out not so much from a statistical perspective, but More just from a knowledge perspective, so that i can talk about that when i'm selling products there's just them.

What really changed is that we now have a move-up market. That's on fire, so post-covet. The tale of two markets is no longer the case, and why is that? Why is the move up market despite being boxy homes or having you know, not? The latest renovations they're selling. We have connecticut homes in west in westport and greenwich they're selling multiple bids three to five million dollar homes.

It's out there for years, so that has really been a function of people that are are not willing to live in the urban core. It started out. New york, obviously because of people getting the virus and fear of being in a densely populated market and people recognizing you know i don't have to stay in the city and then they started thinking about well, i'm working remote today, because i have no choice. That's right! Roughly for you for listeners, roughly six to seven percent of households in the united states, pre-covered worked remote and when you think about what that number could look like um five years from now, is it a double? Is it a triple? Where is it going to go? A lot of that will depend on employers willingness to provide consumers, flexibility, ivy did you say, six to seven or 67, six to seven six to seven percent, and today one could argue it's 95.

I mean you know i that's. I don't know that exact number, but i'm guessing it's. It's probably right exponentially right. You have to take out those workers that can't work remotely yeah and what we're hearing from many of the largest employers is that especially those like in technology, where they're really looking to retain the best talent they can.

They need to give those employees flexibility and, in some cases, the flexibility of working 100 remotely on a go forward basis. So now, all of a sudden, you take the tri-state area and you have employees that are working in the city. That say, you know i'm going to go, live out in in various parts of the tri-state area and their employees, and you don't have to come back to the city, but maybe once or twice a week or maybe you can pick up and move anywhere in the Country we don't care, you can work remote. So i have clients, hedge fund, clients that have left the city of chicago, have left the city of new york and they're moving either southeast southwest and they're.

Looking not only for what is more favorable climates than our our crazy northeast and midwest, but we also have more favorable taxes. We have more pro-business, and people are tired of being in these cities where, frankly, you know they don't find, the housing is, is really not attractive with what they're paying. So you can go to austin this one client of mine literally sold his condo in chicago or actually you can sell it. I think he just listed it and he bought like 20 acres in austin and he's building like a compound for him and his family and he's going to spend less assuming he'll ever sell it or he'll have to walk away yeah.

So, there's that you know it's just crazy like when we came out of sort of this understanding like housing's taking off. We did this piece which you can buy it online. It's called a bullish stance on housing. Housing takes center stage and housing right now, when you think about it, my husband calls it our covet castle.

You know we are here all the time and we, when you think about why the consumer is so focused on improving the quality of their space, that they want to have the ability to have family and guests over, so they want bigger space for dining. They want more space for their outdoor activities. They want maybe places to work right, two different places to work and kids, their kids can be online or their adult. Children are moving back, but wait a minute.

I'm worried about my in-laws because or my parents they're elderly and i don't want them to wind up in a nursing home. So i need a you know, a suite for them. It's just the list goes on and on and on and guess what no one's traveling they're not going to sporting events, they're not going to entertainment, we're not going to concerts. So what do we do? We start looking at housing, we start to.

How do we better? Our current situation, and by the way, we're no longer stuck because mortgage rates are dropping that now i can make sense of it and i can buy. Instead of buying a 900 000 house, i can afford a million dollar home with the same payment, because rates have fallen 100 basis points. But there's a double-edged sword to that. I'm worried about that.

So if you're a broker and if you're listening you've got to get people to do it today, you've got to get them to trade up today and i'll. Tell you why, because the mortgage market, if the backlash so we just um, have so many great mortgage contacts that today the refund market's just booming beyond, as everyone knows, and the purchase market, but what's going to happen, is if rates go up the more every day When they refi someone into a 3 30 year, fixed rate they're, never moving, because that rate is not transferable. So we're going to have a very, very um, immobile housing market, and so your consumers that you're servicing as the broker community you've got to tell them. There's urgency here: you.