There's like 100 things i want to unpack on this, but the one question that i really wanted to go into this morning after i i literally could have told that story. I listened to an interview you did where you shared sort of your life's journey and and gabby. So many people get wrapped up in the way that they were raised or the circumstances of of the moment or their time in life, and you know they either they either make themselves the hero or they make themselves the victim. And i'm curious like for you.

How did you find that sort of cure? You know heroism, to go out and do what you've done and then what advice do you have the person? That's maybe listening thinking. You know i i kind of got stuck in my past. I think it's a really interesting and important conversation to have all the time, because, even though, let's say for example, i wasn't - i wasn't paralyzed by my path to keep me from doing things. There were attributes that developed, though, that i still contend with today that i'm trying to refine that are internal traits, so, for example, um, i think my survival, my my drive to survive was so powerful that it actually overrode um.

You know this idea of being a victim. I i think i was hardwired to be like no one's gon na do it. I have to go. Do it and - and i think there's something to be said.

I said a lot of things come out of a chip on your shoulder and fear, and things like that. But then i think we get to a place in life where we have to actually celebrate what gifts and talents we have and what contribution we want to make. So if there was somebody sitting there saying well, i've had a very hard past or people have not been particularly kind to me. Things like that, i would say a couple of things.

I would say that not only is that over, but what high cards, what aces do you have in your deck and start to drill down and hone in on that, and also how do you want to contribute to the world that you live in, because i one Thing, i know, is you can accumulate wealth or you could accumulate um. You know notoriety or all of these things, but really at the end of the day. What makes us feel good is when we contribute to the to the world that we live in and in some way offer our talent to the tribe. If, if you know what i mean, and maybe the tribe is bigger, it wasn't it's not 100 people, but it's sort of getting in touch with that, and i also think that i don't want to say forgiveness but there's something to be said, for nobody did it To you, people did the best they they could at that time.

Maybe some of them are actually mentally ill. You know, like some of us could be born to people that are mentally ill or had a mentally ill uncle. Who you know came to the house and was inappropriate right and so in a way it's about? How do we shift how we look at things and say: okay, how do i go from here? It doesn't mean it's easy and, and like i said even for me, i i sometimes walk around like my feet are on fire um and i worry like about the future and things that are it's sort of an unnecessary trait now and i'm always looking for ways To refine that within myself, um and so it it never goes away, even for people who have great childhoods, we're always going to be working on something i think it's the human plate. So it's not about saying well i'm working on this and once i'm done working on this, i can participate, get going participate and then just keep working.

You know, i call it. You know sort of polishing the stone, um and be honest with yourself, like, i feel afraid, i'm angry um. You know i i'm i'm. I don't know how to have fun.

I don't know how to be successful. I'm i don't know how to receive winning. All of these things are okay to say, and do you believe uh and i certainly do do you believe we should look in the mirror and vocalize that like own, that or is it more of an interpersonal introspective moment i mean? Certainly, i think it can be introspective, but i find it the best to be able to be said to somebody that you're close enough to that that you can trust that it's not it. You don't become concerned that you've, given this very delicate information to and they're, not quit and they're, not also going to try to say to you, i mean but everything's so good.

You should be grateful. You should be grateful, but you should have the space to say and i'm super anxious or i'm, i am afraid or i doubt myself or i don't think i deserve it or whatever. Our stories are that we tell ourselves, because i feel like just the ability to put it out in front of us and to have someone else go okay. I also think it minimizes the impact and we realize it's not awful - that we feel those things.

It's probably normal, but now what are we going to do about it? And so i think it's a duel. I think it's having that internal conversation to really understand what you're feeling, if it keeps showing up and then finding a safe place to verbalize it. But then there's another step beyond that which is to take action. I think a lot of people get to number two even and they even may go to therapy.

But i think at some point we have to begin to create new habits and new practices and do things that make us uncomfortable because that's how we sort of get through and get to the next have you met david goggins? I haven't i've. Only you know followed his uh him on social media or heard him on podcasts, and things like that. I wonder what david goggins is running from, though that's what i want to ask david. God means i'm joking, but you know i know i think that's a fanta.

So i've interviewed him twice. I've worked with him a couple of times he's amazing yeah. He he worked with my son who's, a tennis player for three hours backstage before he went on stage, and i mean basically, my son got a three-hour. You know like just layout session with david goggins, and he said to me afterwards thanks.

You know because david's intense but yeah so much of what you're saying is his conversation around the accountability mirror. You know you've got to face it like if you're, overweight, you're, overweight, yourself in the mirror and say you're fat do something about it yeah. So you know, i think you said that perfectly um. I want to ask you this question.

People would look at someone like yourself and say i mean my goodness like look at all of the success, but did you ever have any roadblocks that you faced and if so like? What were your steps for overcoming it? Well, i think we've all heard this many times, but i know it to be true. We are all our own worst enemy and even uh, someone like myself, where i might still do something and go for it and even work really hard at something inside. I am. I am still my own worst enemy and um.

I think certainly i had roadblocks, but i will say this: i was involved in activities that were very complementary to a female. I was in a sport which volleyball is a is a highly dominated feminine female sport. So we were in ways treated actually in an elevated way over the men and um. If you want to talk about fashion, i mean that is a woman's deal.

The male models are, you know, kind of props. If you will so, i think my obstacles have been more like this starting a new business um the successes and failures of those staying in in those businesses, either too long spending too much money in them. They were not right. Taking the lessons and going on to the next, because ultimately, i've always been an entrepreneur right, you're, i'm a freelance person so day to day you have obstacles because you're forging the path um, i think what it is.

Is you keep drilling down on? Why am i doing this? Why am i really really doing this? Do i believe in this? Do i feel proud of this? Is this time that is worth not being either with my family or doing something positive for myself? Am i willing to take? You know the blows in order to get to the other side of this, because a lot of times you'll be like well, this isn't even worth it right and um and and then and then also once you do it enough. I think there's sort of a rhythm and a a pattern to things so like when i was joking earlier about business, where we then learn how to not only um align with people that are very good at what they do, but also their sort of moral or Philosophical compass is lined up, so if we get further down the road in business, there's not going to be that conflict, it's also um and and then and recognizing and appreciating sort of teammates. If you will in work that um are good at what they do and deferring to them in their space and having that trust, and things like that, so i think it's also about having enough failures that you get those lessons that you take into the next and Um and make it smooth but yeah, i think, coming from sports um, you know i always joke like when you go to practice. You work on what you're not good at, and you get comfortable with that, and that is, i think, when you can do that in your life.

Hey, i'm not good at this, or this is not working. We're gon na work on this, not always looking for um. Oh, that was amazing. It's like that's, not what's gon na get you there, so it's it's really sort of looking at.

You know what needs to get done. What's the plan for that a strategy and then also going oh, you know what i'm not doing so good over here. I got ta work on this. Have you i mean everything you just said there is so battle tested as an entrepreneur.

I mean i've been in this game for 30 plus years. I've started 17 companies, i'm invested in 57, and i i actually want to take that snippet and basically send it to every ceo of all the startup companies we've invested in because you're completely on point. But do you believe, do you believe that sports and and the fact that we lose so often in sports actually makes us not comfortable with losing, but but more understanding of you don't always win? Well, the losing is part of the winning it's like life. The heart, like you, discussed your wife going through breast, you know through cancer yeah, the the heart is a part of the joy, is a part of the magic is a part of the elation.

It's like you know, and i think, if we look at life that way the losing is part of the winning the sadness is part of the. You know great deep. You know, love and joy that we can experience and not freak out, but and it doesn't mean we can't feel sad or we can't be like wow. I've got my ass kicked today in business and i lost, but it's sort of saying - and this too is a part of the formula yeah yeah.

Have you ever heard the concept of uh the alter ego um? I think i i have, but i i just saw i'm clear well just most most athletes that i meet friend of mine who's, a wonderful author, who's been working with athletes like professional athletes for the last like two and a half decades writes this book on the Alter ego and the concept is that that most athletes, most performers will basically create, in their mind a persona that goes out on stage. It operates at this super level when, when maybe they feel emotionally, they couldn't and tell those two eventually intercede or connect so like when i say that to you like: can you think of an alter ego that perhaps you created either it was for business or for Sports or even for being a parent, oh yeah, i mean i'll, be honest with you. If i could be a producer of a and a working person behind oddly you, you wouldn't realize it not seeing me i don't i'm not particularly um in need of a lot of outside attention, but for whatever reason, i've always been comfortable. Communicating in front of lots of people and things like that, but this is what i did like.

Let's just take fashion for an example, i didn't want to stand there in like heels in a dress and, like you know, do that, but i also would go okay. What's the goal and what's my job, and so i'm going to do that, i'm going to focus on that. I'm not going to focus on that! This is not really so much how i am, and it makes me uncomfortable, i'm going to focus on my role is to do a certain job, and what do i need to do that and, conversely, it was the same with sports, i'm not naturally i mean i'm Probably competitive, but i would sort of up certain parts of my personality, so even for example, today i train with laird, and i don't normally i train near him, but i don't train with him. It's like you know, wouldn't do it to yourself and he gave us these drills and instantly.

I became a 17 year old boy because i was saying to to create that energy to get it done. I had to be a little belligerent and i had to have something to push against inside myself, where, if i was like his wife or like you know, somebody's mom, it's like, oh, how many were doing 50 no. Instead, it was like i'm like a 17 year old who's like oh okay, you know like a little bit obnoxious, and so i think within that, absolutely i think, um being a boss. I have another side that you you create this alter.

You go to your point where i have to drop off information, that's uncomfortable as a female. I don't want to do it emotionally. I want to do it objectively, as as that person in that role, and i definitely had to learn that language and and create that person, so absolutely um you amplify that's what it is, maybe is amplifying different parts of your personality. I think when we do it and it isn't us that's where we get into trouble.

Yes, yes, i i have friends that are like very well known and big performers like arena type things a singer. The problem is, is it's, it is such a part of them, but also in some ways. It's so far, and i think what's tricky in those dynamics is like the drop come down and you there's so much output and then you're getting so too much an unnatural amount of attention that it almost can make you depre like you're bummed 100. So it's like.

That's the only one i'm so grateful. I don't have to manage that because you see those people and i'm like i don't know how you recover from that kind of attention and light and heat um to like everyday minutiae. Unsexiness, take the garbage out um, your chick wants to communicate with you and you're like. Why? Don't i just go in front of 75 000 people, and just they love me.

So that's the only time i've seen where they go too far, almost yeah. That's a really um. It's a fascinating insight. I'll, send you a copy of this book.

He talks a lot about um beyonce, creating sasha, pierce yeah. You know kobe bryant, creating the black mamba yeah and and at least when he talked about um, sasha, fierce and beyonce. He said like she would put on the sasha fierce outfit, so when she was done, she could take that off, set it over there and go be beyonce again yeah and, and so she was able to at least the way he described in the book. I've, not i've not met her had this conversation, but he said that she was able to like take it off, and i mean that's smart yeah, i'm a performer.

So i know what it's like to be in front of 6 000 people in an audience and then go home and my wife's like take the freaking trash out. You know what i mean and i'm like like take the trash out and if you can like almost see the beauty in that duality, you know because i always say life always has tension. Wow um, then that's where you hit this the sweet spot because then you're just like isn't that funny like yesterday, everyone was kissing my ass and i was up on stage and now i'm walking outside, and i hope the raccoon's not here, because i'm gon na throw My rubbish out, you know it's like if i feel like when we can sort of really enjoy that, then i think it's it's in our favor. No doubt no doubt so.

Um, let's go back to business for a second there's, something that i've read and repeatedly heard in podcasts and others where you've done like a really exceptional job, basically for lack of a better way to describe it controlling your brand right, whether it was with nike or In your volleyball career, certainly in your modeling career television um, where did that? Where did that come from? And what insight would you share because my tribe, the people that are listening to this they're all entrepreneurs, they're sales people? They skew mostly 54 female, and i say, like my perfect customer - is 55 she's married, a husband she raised another one. She's got kids she's a baller in her business, and yet they all struggle with the same thing like controlling their brand as they as they scale. Trust in their business so just kind of thoughts on on. Where did that come from for you and then what are your tips to do it? That's an interesting question because i will say: there's sort of two parts of that that come to my mind, right away, which is one you know at 18, working in fashion, um and then playing ball like i was even getting pressure to not play volleyball in college And i was like: oh that's not me though yeah like me is fashion, is an is an awesome opportunity and i know what i see it for what it is.

I know my limitations within that. That's the other thing is because of my size there was real limitations. Sure um and volleyball was like that was me. You know kind of working hard and being on a team and all these things so managing quote a brand.

I always think it's strange like brand. Jordan is a brand and every new athlete now talks about their brand. They don't really have a brand um controlling yourself. Uh is easy.

So if you say hey uh gabby, do you want to endorse this product that you would never use in your life? Pretty easy to say? That's not me, so i just always if you're talking about that said. Is that me is that a real representation of me would i use that? Do i feel proud. If i ran into you on the street, you go. I bought that thing because of you, so i think i always had that compass and that comes from growing up on an island and just really having it early being true to thine own self.

Now, let's say, for example, xpt or layered superfood. What i've learned now, if we're going to talk about, entrepreneurs is first of all the culture. If you want to talk about really protecting your brand first, you have to figure out what is your internal culture and i've really learned like. I knew this and we've drilled down on it.

But i've really learned this from our ceo at large superfood, where i mean top to bottom. It's essential that culture, then that bleeds out um and you know the notion of going back to. Why are we doing this and everybody, you know, writes their mission statement and it's okay, it's all pie in the sky and you know to create for the world and all the stuff, but i think you have to be constantly in touch with. Why am i doing this? If i wasn't going to make money from this? Why would i be doing this? What do i want to offer people? What do i want to get and keep reinforcing that? But for the people who are entrepreneurs and they're, the head first they've got to be in charge of their culture and then you know don't go like well this time.

We'll do this because it'll be good and we'll jump ahead. Three steps yeah, but if you don't really believe in that or you don't really like those people or that brand that you're gon na line up with um, it might be worth it just to go a little slower to understand that when you get it lined up And it's right: it goes faster in the end period. It just will it. I always call it the exponential like it's slow, but then man, if it's all buttoned up and it's tight and you're sure boom and um, but you is it harder? Yes, do you have to have more faith, you do, but that's why? What that's? What makes it so sweet and so um such an incredible experience when you get all those things to click and by the way, if someone's on their first round - and you know this from all the businesses you've been involved - this may not be the one and, and That's just part of it too.

Work like it is and see what happens. I love it. There was so much look at my team who's, all taking notes as we're as we're doing this interview. There were so many points inside of that conversation.

All right, i'm gon na i'm gon na i'm gon na switch gears, because i want to talk about something that is meaningful for again. For my tribe sales, people, entrepreneurs, business leaders startups, you know you're an athlete you're, an entrepreneur, you're a mom right, you're, a business owner of multiple businesses. I guess my question is: how do you manage it all like? What's your process for keeping it all together, i mean the whole enchilada, your entire life, okay! Well, i'm going to give you like a suit the superficial elements. First, because they're easy yeah, i in a day and age, where everybody puts everything on their phones and their computers.

I actually still write things down um. I have a very large notebook because imagine i'm managing my work. Our businesses laird's work. So laird's interviews, my interviews, appearances, travel, uh, you know phone conferences, board meetings and then children.

So i think first of all is writing everything down uh in an old-fashioned way, because then it helps. I can see it and also managing it in the way of like how it's all connected, because if i load you up tuesday, wednesday thursday friday and then the following monday, tuesday wednesday, i'm not seeing how it's all rolling out. So it's also about kind of creating flow yeah where you go: hey man, tuesday, wednesday, thursday you're jammed up beyond so we're. If i have the ability to slide and move and make it a little lighter for three days and then go okay back in so i do that and again that's the superficial on the on stop for a second two things.

First, someone just walked through the door. He's coming in because he's in between things and leaving yeah, so my whole team was like there's a ghost opening the door right now: yeah it's laird or the dog, but really what you just said there, i think is so i know you say it's superficial, but I think for my listeners to hear that there is a natural flow and energy. Like you know, are you good for three days of grinding and then giving yourself a break right? But what i see oftentimes is they? Don't they don't grind? They do just little spurts and it takes them seven, eight or 30 days in a row, but they don't produce any results. They don't really go hard for a couple days, so yeah unpack that a little more yeah.

I think it's a okay i'll give you an example. Let's say i'm we're taking meetings and i'm gon na use myself as a as an example as a female i will be dressed for a meeting. I will probably put mascara on for a meeting and be ready. So why would i not go to three or four or five meetings when i've geared up i've, maybe gotten the kids dialed, because i have the one and and then i know, okay, i have a gap.

I can be more of a mom tomorrow. I can pick up and drop off or pick up, so i think it's also when i talk about that. It's the flow because, in my case, like a lot of people, you're a lot of things and even down to this, i will look at windows because alert and i have interest you know because i do manage his schedule. I can see where there's opportunities actually even for us to intersect and be like okay.

Well, if he's going east and i'm you know, i'm going the other direction - west um for three or four days in a row or whatever that looks like or a week or something, i'm very clear that what needs to happen is somewhere in there. There has to be: we've got ta, be a couple and uh. Certainly the kids take that priority. So maybe i blow it.

I can't take brody to one practice, but i can take her to the practice two days later. So that's why it's like, if you're on in the momentum stack it you know, and if you then can say all right, i get a moment to keep putting the chips into the other elements of my life, whether it's my my family, my self-care, you know people Forget this, especially the women. You know my friend kenny kane talks about, like you, have buckets like it's work, it's self-care and family, and you only have so many chips like where are you putting them? So if you're loading up on the work, then it's going to be time to redistribute at some point, and so i think this is really important and and also we, if we start to pay attention to how much time we waste, then we are so much more Efficient and we will have hours in the day and the problem is when we feel stress - we're looking at least for a quick distraction, so we'll go to social media. We'll do these things that suck time and we don't realize we're just actually having a stress response.

Yeah right we're like oh, i feel overloaded. I just need a different source of stimuli, and so when we can start to notice and say, okay, i'm not going to do that. I'm going to get up i'm going to walk around drink. Some water come down hammer.

It down so that actually, i'm going to finish, works earlier today at 4, not at 6 30, because i've wasted time and utilized that time, either for myself or my family, but really getting on top of the distractions. Because in no time in life has it been easier to get stuff done and also more to just, you know to kind of decipher through so i mean that's how i manage it and i'm always conscious of my quote: unquote real life like i know if that Goes sideways, i'm going to have a real problem, and so i'm not going to wait for you know larry to be like, oh you've been ignoring me or my kids to kind of be like you know, can you ramp up the mom roll um to sort of To to acknowledge that, however, i will say this: it also is a luxury right. This is part of saying, i think about my business 24 hours a day. I take it home with me i'll work on a saturday or sunday.

That is also a luxury given to me versus, if someone let's say is going to an office, they've got to manage it differently, um. So it's it's also about acknowledging that. But if you're an entrepreneur, you have to bust your own ass and put a system in place so that you can be successful and know where you're, where you're weak or know where you can unravel or get distracted and fortify that so that you don't get yourself Into trouble yeah, there was a lot there guys, i'm looking at my team they're over there like nodding. Yes, so so gabby, you there's a lot of things about what you do and how you operate.

That impressed me just doing my research, one of the things that i picked up on and i think you just nailed it is, you know, you're the face and your husband's also the face right, but you run the back end and there's not many people that can Be the face of a business in a brand and run the back end. Then you take the complexity of also being a wife. Then a friend and a mom like first of all, share, maybe just shed some other light on. If you don't mind it, you just share it a lot, but a lot of my customers.

They work in husband and wife teams, business partnerships and, and one is i i just kind of described it as the face like who's out meeting clients and going on appointments and like like they're out and about and of course, the one in the back who's. Managing the transactions dealing with the money, it's kind of like the minutia and the grind versus fun, enjoys the way they describe it. Yeah. What advice do you have in dealing with another crazy face for all those people that i love that run the back end? You know i i'm first of all, it's like passing in volleyball, it's very unglamorous, but nothing happens unless you have a good passer and all the hitters get all the credit uh.

But you can't start one thing without that, so i think first of all, um it's kind of i'll. Give you i'll give you an example. When i have my daughters, i was the one who got pregnant. I was the one who could nurse and laird couldn't right.

So he like second day i have one of the babies and like he's off surfing because he can and - and i was thinking - oh what my contribution is and what i'm doing is so very different than what he is um able to do and um. I'm sure of this, it's my it's my choice to choose this. So if you choose to be the back end person be clear that um, you have chosen this, because you can't resent the other person that either they have a natural skill set that they can go out there and they've got ding shiny and you know they're good Conversationalists and they can call you know, maybe they're more of a salesman and they can close deals and things like that, um, it's being very clear. First, why you're doing it the role that you're playing? If you know, would you want to be in the front? I think it's sometimes like when you go like that, it's like! Oh, do you want to be that person and most times most people doing the back end would be like yeah? No, i don't so you have a different role and how do you make that role? Work for yourself, because if we're comparing you're, not even comparing the same thing, um and and kind of being clear that it's probably more stressful because you have more information than the front-end person you know what's coming in, you know what's going out, you know where the Problems are you know that the shipping thing didn't work and, like you, just sort of have more information, and it's about saying: oh yes, but this is the job that i feel comfortable with that i chose so i'm going to kick its ass and also within it.

Not just have it keep coming at me, but again, how do i create my skill set that i manage it in a way that works well for me, because you can't just keep getting crushed by things you have to go. Okay, let's get! Let me get some. Let me figure this out and gain some perspective and also even things like systems. I'm a believer in systems like even if it's someone who works with you and you're, the backend person and they're, going to give you a bunch of information.

Send you emails. It's like. Listen, don't send me three page emails, don't leave me two and a half minute. Voicemails say you need to speak to me because if that's going to create stress for you then figure it out.

It's on you to figure that out and say: okay rather than the three-page email say you have 15 minutes today, i'm going to come in your office or call you on the phone and let's just go through a few things perfect, because anyway, you're always circling the Bowl and you, you know, you're not getting anything really done, but a bunch of stuff is getting thrown at you, um, and, and so i and i think it's also enjoying there's an art and a joy to being behind uh. That being in front is not so, where do you, where do you start to? You know, really appreciate um those things that was a killer answer by the way like. Let's talk about okay, let's, let's stay in this conversation like maybe just okay work right, you think about volleyball, fast action. Four different roles running plays that work like what have you found to be some of the better hacks in working with your multiple teams, to keep everybody in sync and running? Plays that work and doing what works? Well, i mean listen after i it's about having the right type of connection, because it's sort of like i'll give you an example like i'm very close to certain teammates on, like the laird superfood, all the way through the executive roles, not as much on xpt.

However, my point person and co - one of my co-founders, is my point person and there is nobody closer to me than her. So it's about having for me personally um we're clear that we're on the same page and actually it's about paying attention. I don't just like how i'm paying attention i'm watching things, i'm doing the extra to look and even to see things like what posts are going up and how does that look and um and and if something seems a little off, not waiting for it to bounce And go crazy and then you're freaking out, but to go hey. Can we get on a call and just talk about this, and so i think i'm more impactful, because i i relinquish the control to the people who say this is what i'm going to be doing.

This is my job and i say great, i trust you, and this is your job so that when i say i need to talk about something um, it's impactful, you know it's, it's not like. I'm trying to you know, be a control freak because that's unproductive we're only one person with so many hours in a day. That's dumb and you're never going to expand and really grow. If you don't know how to get people that you can say like, like you know, you're my other half and that's what you do and great.

But you got to pay attention. You have to make sure that thing is staying in the tracks and if it kind of goes wonk a little bit, you just have to say hey, i noticed this. Can we talk about it?.