What's up everyone? All right? Well um, it's a red day recap. Second red day in a row. So um, I'm sitting here down thirty five thousand. I shut everything down.

I'm not looking. I already did the recaps. This is the intro. Shut all my charts down.

This is. this is the the head game of trading. This is where it gets really hard. I was read yesterday 40, 50, 000.

Whatever it was. I'm read again today and in two days I just gave back everything I made this month. I was up 100 000 on the month. Now I'm I mean I haven't imported my trades, but I'm going to say I'm basically back to flat.

I've given back 75, 80, maybe 90 of what I've made this month. That's the glass half empty. Well the glass half full. This is my green juice is that breakeven is better than red.

It's a choppy market. Sometimes it is just trying to keep your head above water and don't count your profits before the end of the month. Yeah, I was feeling good. up 100 000 heading towards maybe 200, but we were still in a choppy market.

I got a little carry. I got a little carried away, got a little ahead of myself. got a little too excited. We had one good day.

I started stepping up with big size on Friday and remember I was up 34 000 and finished up only 12. gave back 22 or whatever it was. Monday down 45 50 000 Tuesday today down 35 000. I'm stepping up with too much share size.

That was my problem yesterday. I went way too deep in share size on the one that I lost on same thing today. So I've prepared an email to send to Lightspeed to restrict my share size. And I hate doing this because it feels like I'm shooting myself in the foot.

It feels that way because if I say hey Rob, you know max share size of um, you know, 10k shares Or you know, 10 10k shares. Whatever, I'm not going to make back 75 000 or 80 000 that I've lost with 10 000 shares it's gonna take. I mean, I'm not gonna make it back quickly. It's gonna take me.

It's gonna take me a couple weeks probably. Um, certainly if I size down to as low as like 5 000 shares, it's gonna take a while. And so that's the part of me that why would I want to limit and cap my upside potential? What if we do have a stock, you know, tomorrow that ends up going from six to eight, to ten to twelve. and then I'm You know this.

The guy sitting here capped at ten thousand shares? Why would I? Why would I do that to myself Capping my upside potential? I'm doing that because I am proving over these last few days that I have been unable to cap my downside. On my own. I'm taking much bigger share size than I should. I'm getting stubborn and averaging down, which is making big losses bigger because I start with 10 000 shares and then it drops.

I add another 10 000, it drops more. Now I'm in 35 000 shares, It drops more and I lose 35 grand a dollar a share. That's not good trading, so I think that this is not uncommon for me for sure to come out of a period where the market's really hot and where you can kind of get away with averaging down because things dip and then they curl back up. You know, and so you start to form some bad habits.

But then the cold market is gonna force you to come back to good habits because the cold market's not going to be forgiving you average down. They just keep going lower and lower. So capping my share size, the purpose of it, it's it's not to minimize my profit, it's to stop the bleeding. You know, right now we've got a ship that's got a, you know, huge hole in the side and water is just pouring in these losses.

So you know every small win I make a huge loss comes right after it. You know I have a small winner then a huge loss because my risk is not managed. So the first thing I got to do is stop the losses, stop the bleeding, stop the water from coming in, whatever you want to call it. So if I can stop that and the best way to do it, would ultimately be to have the level of self-control that I can just moderate.

You know, my risk without sort of inter having an intervention of like capping it externally from my broker. But trading is so much in the moment and becomes so intuitive that I'm still in the hot market. Intuition? It's very hard for me to slow that down. It's almost rewiring your brain to a cold market.

It's very challenging. so I feel that I do need to restrict it sort of from the high high level of having the broker say no, this is your max size that way for the next few days. even if I do, because I'm emotionally fueled, frustrated, and angry. If I might ordinarily be stubborn and average down, I really can't I'm going to go into 5 000 shares and that's it.

That's the most I can go in. and if I only make 2 500 bucks 50 cents a share, you know? Okay, whatever. but I guarantee you five six days of that. My emotions are going to be so much lower than they are right now.

Maybe the market will also be heating back up, but maybe not. This cold market could go on for another two weeks. Who knows. So the worst thing I could do is come in tomorrow and not change anything.

And since I certainly didn't come in today intending to take 35 40 000 shares of a small cap stock and lose 35 grand, I'm not gonna plan to do that tomorrow, but it could happen. so I'm gonna need to put that restriction on my account for a little while. Um, like I said, I hate doing it, but it's more important to cap the downside than the you know unfortunate effect of also capping your upside a little bit. It's just better to do this this way.

So the question for me is, just what do I kept my share size at? um, you know, for the next few days And it's not like I mean I can cap it to six thousand shares for two days and then move it up to nine thousand for two days and then move it up to twelve thousand for two days. I mean, it can. It doesn't have to be like, oh, capping putting a 000, it has to be that way for the next month, It doesn't. It just is for a period of time to kind of cool yourself off just to kind of slow down.

So yeah, this is where I'm at right now. I'm I feel, sort of, you know, defeated. The market is just so cold right now and I'm disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to, uh, just take the gains from Thursday and Friday and just sort of tucked them away as more of an anomaly for the month and instead took it as a sign that things were heating up, started to get aggressive, and then just gave back everything we just made. So yeah, trading is risky.

Man, it's It's hard. It's really hard, and these markets are a definite test of your emotional, um, composure. And I'm not. I never.

I never do well on these tests. I never do well in these moments. It's so hard for me. but I think it's hard for everyone.

I mean, I do and it doesn't matter how much success you have, it's frustrating to come in and just get nailed day after day is super frustrating. So anyways, I hope you enjoy the recap. As always, I'll be back at it first thing tomorrow morning, but throbble back on share sides just to kind of bring down the emotions a little bit. I'd like to just not have a third red day, but if I do, at least with small share size, it'll be a smaller red day.

Certainly smaller. I mean, if I lose 35 000 again tomorrow with 6 000 shares, that's gonna be ridiculous. But um, I don't think that's gonna happen unless I decide to trade Tesla. So I'm gonna try to just have a small red day tomorrow.

And you know, Thursday Friday? See how the market is? See what we've got? I'll see how tomorrow morning I'll see how things kind of finish today. But uh yeah, I'm just feeling like I'm in a little rut and I've been here so many times I know what I need to do, but there's that. You know it's the grief. It's um, you grieving the loss, you grieve, the loss, and then you're in denial about it.

No, I can't believe this happened and you know I'm not gonna change anything. and then finally it's like acceptance. Okay, I guess we're really in a cold market so I just have to buckle down and this is what it is, so that's it for me. I hope you guys enjoy the recap and I'll see you first thing tomorrow.

Well, it's easy come easy go. And um, just like that down 35 000 Second red day in a row. So that's in two days. I've given back everything I've made in the month of April, I was up a hundred thousand and now I'm back to zero on the month.

uh, mostly on two trades. a thirty five thousand dollar loss right there on my Md and the thirty five thousand dollar loss yesterday on Ebet. So on this one, I hesitated on the entry. At 6.50 I saw it there.

I thought it looked like a good setup. I didn't take it, squeezes into a halt at seven. I then bought this dip right here. It rips up to 89.

It then drops down to 714. I added off the double bottom right here. Comes back up to Uh 764 765 right there. I didn't sell.

I was looking for the first one-minute candle to make a new high break back through Eight Stopped out down here at 6 67. So 35 40 000 Shares lost almost a dollar a share. It's amazing how fast you can lose 35 40 grand in the market. It's amazing how fast.

so you know now this is halted. Going back down and it's a broken chart. There's nothing else that looks good. So I'm not going to take any more trades today At this point.

it's just about trying not to go deeper in the red. Now I'm down a hundred grand basically in two days. Eight, Ninety thousand. Whatever it is.

Eighty thousand. It's not good, and I shouldn't have been so aggressive on my share size. So this is where unfortunately, I think I might need to take a little bit of time to step back. because instead of just getting in with small size and cutting the loss, I'm getting aggressive.

I'm getting emotional. I'm getting frustrated, I'm getting stubborn and the losses are getting bigger and they're gonna keep getting bigger. I've had a three hundred thousand, nearly three hundred thousand dollar red day. I can.

Definitely, I can definitely go bigger and have bigger losses. So the problem right now? The main issue is that the market is not, uh, giving us the same opportunities that it was a couple months ago and that's fine. But the problem is that I am. Well, I guess you know I had a couple good days last week.

I had a good day on Thursday and a good day. decent day on Friday on Friday. I remember I said I felt like it was a red day because I gave back more than half of my gains. You know, I was up 30 grand and then finished up only 12 000..

Thursday I was up about 60. So Thursday was a really good day and I tried to kind of roll that into a good day on Friday. Didn't work. tried to kind of come right back.

Monday got nailed down. Fifty thousand. Tried to come back today, not trying to make back everything I lost, just trying to have a couple good trades. Boom.

Again, a huge loss. Ah, these are tough times so you know. Unfortunately, now when the market heats up, my first hundred thousand dollars is just gonna be digging myself out of the hole. It's A it's a constant.

It's just a constant battle. Uh, that's why trading is so hard. It's just a constant emotional battle. and we keep coming back every single day because the it feels so good when you hit those big winners.

And of course when you hit those big winners and you have a great green day, you feel like you've really achieved something. You feel like I'm really on top of it. Uh, and then days like today are just so devastating. You know you can say whatever you want about.

Well, what is he complaining about? He's up. You know how much am I up on the year? Uh, before yesterday and today? Uh, you know, before yesterday and today I in net profit was up. Uh, 1.59 million on the year. So I'll be up.

You know, whatever. 1.5 million on the year. I could stop trading right now for the rest of the year and I will have made more than I made in every year of my career. except for last year.

Last year was the best year ever. But right here with 1.5 million, this will be the second best year if I stop right now. So the problem, of course, is that after having a really good year, there's a part of me that thinks, okay, maybe I can do that again. You know, two five million dollar years certainly sounds better than just one.

And I was definitely on track for it in the first quarter, making a 1.5 million. That puts me on track for six million dollars on the year. However, here in April I've got nothing. I've got nothing to show for the whole month of April.

So yeah, I had a couple good days and then yesterday, which I haven't imported yet and today. So now I'm down 100 grand or whatever. I'm just rounding it up, but whatever. Um, eighty thousand.

Uh, to put it I suppose in a little bit of perspective, which is always good. I can go back here to my calendar for 2020. Uh, let's see. Oh, this is what I want to do.

Um, so you know this is where I sit on the year. This is still better than 16, 17, 18, and 19. combined. You add those four years, four years of trading.

I've made more in these last three months four months than those four years. However, April is slowing down and in 2020. It was very strange to have you know these four five really good months. Uh, May, June, July, August, September, October, and then be down 27 000 in the month of November.

How is that possible? It doesn't even make sense. How could? How could I have 700 000 one month and then be down 27 the next? Well, it's kind of like April right now. The market was just cold. There was nothing strong.

Things that gapped up like this just kept fading. Now you could say oh, flip short, flip short. Well, the problem of course with that is that if I flip short, I can't do that in my retirement account. Number One.

Which means I would keep at my income bracket only about half of the gains 50 income tax 39, 40 percent federal plus state and I maybe keep 55. Okay, so keeping 55 percent of every dollar you make that's not super appealing for me. Uh, on the other hand, on the on the other hand, the challenge is availability of shares to borrow. E-bet it was a dollar fifty per share.

So to borrow a thousand shares would have cost fifteen hundred dollars just to reserve the shares. Not even you're in the whole 1500 bucks before you even take one trade. So the combination of the cost to borrow shares and short sale restriction and the tax structure doesn't incentivize me to focus on the short side. Now you could say, hey, well, even if you only made 20 000 and you've only kept 12 of it after tax, it's still an extra 12 000.

Well, that's true, you're not wrong, but it would force me to open a different brokerage account And then when you actually factor in the borrowing fees, I don't really know how net positive I would realistically be. So for right now, um, this is where I sit. You know. What's actually really unfortunate is that, um, this month, my I had two really good days.

Um, in my main account. Inadvertently, I just traded in it without realizing it. So I'm actually going to have income tax on the month even if I lose money because you don't get to write off the losses that are in a retirement because there's no income tax on it. So if I have 70 000 in gains in my main account and I lost seventy thousand in my retirement, and I'm zero on the month, I'm actually still gonna owe thirty five thousand dollars in tax on the income from my main account.

so I'm I'm negative this month. Uh, certainly when you factor in tax. but I don't know. It's hard for me to be kind of patient and just roll with the market being cold.

I can't stand it, and that's leading me to trade kind of too aggressively. Today nothing was good for Gap and Go. You know we haven't had a good Gap and Go trade in a while, so yeah, I don't know. Anyways, you can tell my mood so I'm going to let you go.

Tomorrow's a new day. In case you didn't know, trading is risky. Most beginner traders lose money. Even experienced traders lose money here.

I am like a professional. down. Seventy thousand, eighty thousand dollars in two days. So losing more than some people making an entire year.

But that's the one side of the coin and the other side of the coin is a green day This year of Four hundred thousand dollars. Five hundred thousand. So you gotta take the winners and the losers. You can't just have one biggest green day.

Four hundred and seventy thousand bucks. That's more than some people make in 10 years of working. So glass can be half full. If you want to look at it that way or it can be half empty, it's your choice.

I guess. Today I feel like it's half empty. but this is that's the that's the equity curve there for the last 90 days. So I'm down 100 grand off of 2.2 million in 90 days.

That's a 5 drawdown. I think what upsets me is that none of the trades were probably worth the risk. You don't risk 35 000 unless you have the potential to make 70. it's easy to lose sight of that risk reward ratio when you get sort of in really aggressive trading because you're just sort of jumping in, stacking some gains.

and you might have a period where you've taken 15 trades where you were risking 20 30 000 to make only 10 000. But you had, you know, eight ten thousand dollar winners in a row. So you're up eighty grand. So you know what, You don't really think about it.

and then you get that one and you're like, wow. So I just lost thirty five thousand. Did I actually have the potential to make fifty? or a hundred thousand on that trade? So then why'd you take it? Boredom. Markets are slow.

Something was moving. I jumped on it, fell into the trap. These are the traps of the market. So really, it's a tough call.

Whether to, you know, even come in tomorrow and and keep fighting out in the trenches these really choppy markets, or just to wait until someone says hey Ross, we just had a 400 short squeeze today and then come back Then I don't know. we'll see. I got to be able to manage my downside and not keep just throwing gains out the window being too aggressive in choppy markets. So I see certainly others are doing better than I am this month, some who have just been more content with bass hits, who haven't tried to swing for as many home runs as I have, others who have taken the short side of trades who have gotten the opportunity to kind of hold for the afternoon fade.

But I'm well back to flat on the month. Although we do have, let's see eight days left. So if I could reduce my daily goal from twenty thousand a day to five thousand for the next eight days, that would be a forty thousand dollar profit, it wouldn't be too bad. Finish the month up 30, 40 grand.

That would be perfectly respectable considering choppiness just trying to keep your head above water. And you know, all things considered, I'm flat on the month right now. roughly. That's better than being down 200 grand like I was in January in February, So this is a draw down off of my high of the month.

But I haven't gone net negative on the month, so guess we'll just see how see what the market wants to give us. I'll see you guys in the morning hoping for better opportunities. better looking setups. Good luck if you keep trading.

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