There's only three kinds of people on the planet: positive, neutral and negative. We've all heard the phrase we become like the people. We spend our time with whether it was napoleon hill or earl nightingale or it was biblical. We do truly become like the people we associate with.

The question is: who are you spending your time with and how are you treating those relationships that matter most when i was 18 years old? I remember succinctly my dad pulling up in a rolls royce: crazy right to my honda 125 cc motorcycle literally a lawn mower on wheels in front of my apartment that i shared with my brother and his girlfriend at the time in costa mesa california on center street. If you know anything about that, you know what that was like and that car pulled up and he walked in, and i had not seen him since he had kicked me out of the house. So it was a little tumultuous and we spent a little time together and i said dad you know, get i've got probably purple hair at the time and he looks at me he's like tom. You become like the people.

You spend your time with. We've heard those phrases before, but there was something about that moment. Maybe it was because i was beginning a new journey of my life that i was tired of the life that i had or the lifestyle that i had or the you know. The friction that i was creating all the time in my life for everyone else and he literally said to me: there's only three kinds of people on the planet: positive, neutral and negative, and i was like got it he said: do you have a yellow notepad, i'm, Like i don't have a yellow notepad, he went down to his car, got a yellow.

Notepad came up with a pen, put it in front of me with a pen and said i'd like you to list out all the people in your life that are positive, and i said what do you mean he said you know these are the people that are Uplifters they're gon na they're gon na challenge you they're gon na, want you to get better right when, when you're having a bad day, they're not going to be in a pity pop party with you, they're actually going to say, come on. Let's go do something: let's, let's change our state. Let's go, learn something new. Let's go try something.

Let's go get in action right because we know that's what you have to do when you're in that bad state, but so many people we spent our time with, like. Let's have a glass of wine and let's moan and and complain about it together right. He said those people, you don't want to spend a lot of time with they're in your life, but you don't want to spend the time there. Who are the positive ones, and i remember literally going dad matt my brother and i had no one else on the list.

I had no one else on the list and it was like a lightning rod. It hit me man, you do truly become like the people. You spend your time with and i'm not spending enough time with these two people. Then i looked at the neutral list and it was a couple of my family members and i said: could you define neutral for me? He said neutral means like they're kind of vanilla, like whatever you do, they're just kind of whatever they're not negative about it, they're not positive about it.

They are neutral and i listed out some names there and and look. This was just one 18 year old, kid's perspective. It doesn't mean that these people were more positive or more negative or more neutral, but it was my point of view as i was relating to these people and then the negative list was just about every person. I went to high school with all my friends and buddies and - and i literally i looked at the list and it wasn't it wasn't that i didn't love them anymore.

What i understood was if i was going to start setting goals for myself. If i was going to move my life from this little apartment, which, by the way about my first house, literally within nine months when i, when i was gon na make that transition that leap, i needed to spend time with people that were committed to the similar Leaps that were on a similar journey, whether it was spiritual, their relationship, their business, their finance, whatever it was, i needed to spend time with people that were doing that, and you know what i started to find them identified the list. I didn't call people that were on the negative list. You know, like hey you're, on my negative list.

You know, don't call me anymore right, like no. You didn't do that. You just you know when you just sort of shift your focus and you just all of a sudden kind of start going this way, especially when it's really positive, when it's really ambitious, when it's really, you know sort of growth mindset that a lot of those people They just slowly start to, you know, trim away. If you will, i never was negative to them.

I honored every one of them. I still see some of them now and then i just don't see them all that often because i know if i spend time with people that are moving forward when i spend time with people and again i want to be clear: it's not all business. Sometimes it's! My buddy who's a doctor who's trying to figure out like hey. Can i solve this issue with the brain? It's so so far out of my comfort zone, but with him i'm growing, i'm learning i'm expanding and you know what he's also fun.

So i asked myself: how can i slowly over time, remove this group? How can i call the neutral people and not call them out and say: hey, you know, mom you're neutral in my life, that would be a weird conversation, but instead i looked at the neutral people that were on my list and i said: okay they're wishy-washy, probably Because i'm wishy-washy with them that i'm not declaring the things i want, i'm not asking them. How can i help? What can i do to make a contribution to you? What are you committed to? I was wishy-washy, they were wishy-washy if that makes sense, and you know what i called a few of them, and i said i'm kind of on this kick right now that i need to shrink my really tight circle down to the people that are on a similar Path, are you interested and guess what happened a whole bunch of them said they were interested and all of a sudden, my neutral list shrunk and my positive list began to grow and i want to be clear. I didn't need 100 over here. I know thousands of people around the world and i have lots and lots and lots of friends i'm talking about that tight little group that you connect with the most the most hours of the day.

The most sort of you know, weeks of the year that you're with them and you're with them, because that bond is so strong. We are in this together and i would argue, could you do the same? Could you ask yourself, could you have that moment of clarity without any ego or judgment of the people on the list? Just your interpretation, who's, negative who's, neutral, who's, positive, the neutral ones, embrace them figure out. If there's something that you can do to contribute to them, don't call them and say: i've set some goals for myself and i'm ready to take over the world and you are neutral. You would be an idiot right.

That would be a rude thing to do. Instead, you call them and say i'm working on this project. I really want to take some areas of my life to a different level, and i you know you know how much i love and appreciate you and i'm just curious like do you have any of those? Maybe we can work on something together. Maybe we can collaborate, let's go for a walk.

Let's start a book club, let's whatever it may be, but let's start furthering our lives together if they, if they're, like look i'm not into that, i've got something going on right. Now, i'm not going to cross them on my list, i'm not going to put them on the negative side, i'm just going to acknowledge that person is going to get a little less of my time now. Some of you will argue gosh tom. If you only spend time with the people that are positive and optimistic, aren't you missing the contrast of life like you've talked about in the past? My response to you is: look.

I'm still gon na have all these people fox news, cnn msnbc. All that negative is gon na, be there whether you like it or not, and it will tie up some emotions and conversations of all the people in your life. I'm just saying to you: if you had that band of brothers right those four women that were so tight, so committed so passionate about this journey, recognizing how short our lives really are. If you had that core group to support you and you to support them, the journey will be magical.

All these other people will be there, my friends, but you truly become like the people you spend the most time with, and i would challenge you to challenge your time. Who are you going to spend your time with that's the point of the day you.