Expecting that today would be the worst day of my trading career, but that's what it is. I'm down 37 000 not including commissions and I'm super frustrated. I'm super frustrated with myself. I'm super annoyed and so you know I'm just gonna kind of vent it out a little bit for those that tune in.

Thanks for tuning in, Hit the thumbs up. Not everyone's going to like this video. You know there's some people that are going to trash talk about this video and so that's fine. It is what it is.

I'm up 4.4 million dollars on the year before today and my entire career. I've never had a red day this big, which is a that's a good career. I've certainly done well managing risk, but today was not good and I am super frustrated for a couple different reasons. I started the day, um, with some profit.

I got myself up about 10 000 on the day, then up to 12 thousand and around nine fifty. I was up twelve thousand on the day, which was pretty solid. And then I started to give back some profit. I dropped down to being up only two so I gave back 10 grand.

Then I made my way back to up 7 000 and that was at about 11 a.m and at that point I said all right I'm gonna, um, I'm gonna call it a day, I'm gonna, you know, walk away up seven grand or whatever it was, I walked away. Then I came back and I traded Dpw and I got myself up seventeen thousand dollars. So I was up seventeen thousand dollars. on the day.

Uh, which was good. Uh, made back the little bit that I've lost, got myself to Green and then I lost it all. And so this is a big swing intraday from up 17 000 to down 37 000. That's an intraday swing of let's see, 37, 47 of 54 000 I've had.

That's actually not my biggest intraday swing I've had days where I was up 100 or 150 and then lost 60 or 70 000 and was able to still trade and make my way back up to um, uh, to my highs. But it's definitely not great and you can see my P L. you know I'm I'm read on. Obviously a lot of stuff.

I have a couple of names I'm green on so just across the board it was bad I, so I'm trying to kind of. I'm not really. I'm not looking at the chat feed right now. I'm more kind of like just thinking about where I'm kind of sitting and how I'm feeling about today in hopes that this is helpful for other traders that are having a bad day maybe today, or maybe weeks or months from now.

Um, and who come back and watch this. One of the things that's important for me in this journey of being a day trader is that I'm transparent about my wins and my losses. so today would be a very easy day to say. Well, I I was up 7 000 when I finished my morning day trading show and I'll come back tomorrow and just kind of sweep the 37 000 loss under the carpet.

Um, obviously at the end of the month my broker's statements are on the website, so all of it's transparent at the end of the day. But I think doing this video is an opportunity to continue to show you guys that the struggle is real, even for someone who's been doing this for a really long time. I am. I guess coming off my hottest hot streak that I've ever had from uh, April until I guess the end of October, which is when things kind of slow down November, you know, after today I'm going to be break even on the month.

Which makes it my worst month since I don't know first for a long time. So if we zoom in on November, um, this is where November was sitting. Um, before today and not including my loss on Friday. So I was read on Friday and read again today.

So I'm in a definitely, um, a market where I'm You know, I'm not. I'm not doing super well. I feel like I'm kind of churning. So you know what? what's kind of going on here? Well, I feel like today I Dpw was a real trigger stock for me today because I I underestimated it.

Um, I ended up doing well on it and making seventeen thousand dollars on this move. Right here from five dollars up to Six Twenty. So I made some good money on it and then I accumulated a position right here of about thirty thousand shares. looking for the first five minute candle to make a new high and a retest of six forty I got stopped out right here and went from up seventeen to up only about ten thousand.

I got back in through this Consul this breakout right here, stopped out again, I then got back in. um I was in right here and got stopped out again right here and each time I was in with 30 000 anywhere from 20 to 30 000 shares and I just kept getting stopped out. I then walked away from my computer for a little while I was like you know I just walk away. I came back and I saw it was sitting right up here at eight and I was like are you kidding me You're kidding me right? And so I got back in.

uh right here on this pullback. at 780 for the break over eight with 30 000 shares and on that trade right there this dropped from 788 all the way down to under seven plus 30. This is the biggest loss right there on that trade. Lost a full dollar.

Almost a full dollar a share on 30 000 shares. So I was, um you know. So going from up 17 to down about 5 000 was, kind of slow. And then I had one huge loss right here.

and this was kind of that final me being super frustrated and just saying. you know, I I refuse to walk away. So I think that what that speaks to is my own stubbornness being really stubborn and not wanting to accept defeat. You know, obviously today wasn't going super well when I was up ten thousand, then gave it all back, it was a point Two grand.

So at 11 Am when I was up seven thousand dollars. While that was, you know, green, it was certainly an indicator that the market was not really on my side. I had not had good follow-through I was kind of frustrated. I was read on Thursday of last week.

Last week wasn't a great week, so I was feeling frustrated. I was stepping up to the plate swinging big, trying to hit, you know, home runs, trying to just really quickly make back my loss from Thursday and so I didn't want to just walk away up only seven grand even though the market was telling me. you know. So just then there's gonna be kind of a stream of thoughts.

But um, so something that just kind of occurred to me is how much I was trading my P L today. How much I was trading, Where I sit on the week, where I sit on the month, How much I was trading. What happened yesterday, What happened on Thursday. I didn't trade Friday and so I wasn't really trading.

The market that was writing from me and the market that was right in front of me was telling me that it's still choppy. It's not better. You know. this month I have a really nice 74 000 day back on this day here.

Uh, but that you know was helping recoup the loss of 22 000 on the first day of the month. First day of the month was bad so I dropped myself down like you know, 25 000 on the month before this green day, then back in the red, then slowly. decent week here and then last week green Red Green red made no progress, was read last week and I carried that frustration into today. And you know I've been.

As you guys know, I've been stepping up to the plate and swinging big. And when you step up to the plate and swing big, uh you know sometimes it's going to connect and sometimes you're going to have a really big strikeout and today's like a big strikeout. Today's a day where I stepped up to the plate about 15 different times on Blnk on Ciic on Pola on Jmia on Ayro and Ftech on G-tech on Kxin on Xpev on Dpw, I stepped up on everything and my biggest winner today was maybe ten thousand dollars on Dpw. That was my biggest winner and it was when I went from up 17 or up 7 000 to 17 000 right there.

But this one was choppy. It was hard, and you know sometimes some people might say, well, geez, man, you should have shorted. You should have gone short on every one of your trades today. Well, you know if I if I literally done the exact opposite on every single trade, yeah, I guess I'd be green, but the fact is just because it was hard trading to the long side today for me, doesn't mean it was easy trading to the short side if you're trading short Dpw all day long.

I'm not going to say it was necessarily a lot easier. It was difficult, long, and it was difficult short, and I'm kind of embarrassed that on the stock that's up 100 and now it's up 222 that I somehow managed to lose 25 grand on it. But it was not easy and there were a lot of false breakouts and they're both on the five minute and even on the one minute. Not that it really matters, you know, because in terms of you guys watching this video six months from now, probably the bigger takeaway here is that you know if we kind of look at my P L today, I'm just going to draw what I think my P L was so um, so up 5 000 and then up to twelve thousand, then down to five thousand.

down to up only two thousand, kind of aggressive. back to seven, up to seventeen. I'm just drawing this and I'll show it to you and then down to about twelve down to 5, down to negative 2, down to 9 and then like that. So that's probably what my P L looks like.

Which camera is this today? Um, I don't know which jingle's best on. but anyways, that's kind of what my p looks like today. I'd say I started green, I went back to break even, then I got up 17 000 and then I gave it all back and you could all probably say well man, you should have stopped like right about here when you went red on the day. But this is where emotion sets in.

anger, frustration, And when you're trading and you're seeing the stock that you've been trading going higher, that just that just adds fuel to that emotion. And when you trade emotionally, you get yourself in trouble. and this is something that I've struggled with for a super long time. I will be the first to admit that the way I traded today was totally void of, uh, following the rules of my strategy and I'm sure someone's going to comment and say, oh, why would you even bother learning from someone who doesn't have the discipline to follow their own strategy or follow their own rules And you know that's something that you have to make that choice on your own.

You do what you like, but it's something that I am critical about my critical of myself for. I'm upset with myself for it. I wish that I was better at following my own rules. I wish that I wasn't so aggressive.

However, it's on the other hand, that same level of aggressiveness and competitiveness that has on in a hot market produced some of the best days I've ever had in my career. So you know it's kind of a funny thing with trading, how those emotions uh, at times can serve you well and then other times you know feels like your achilles heel. It's just this weakness that it always kind of comes back to you for. For me personally, it's and you can all probably understand that.

It's not just about strategy. Strategy is very important and out of all people out there that learn my strategy, no doubt about it, there'll be many of you who you know become successful traders, so on so forth. But ultimately success is about your ability to follow the rules of your strategy, your ability to walk away in. you know, the face of extreme frustration and anger because the market is always stronger than you.

The market is always stronger than you, and you can trade as aggressively as you want. You can fight it as much as you want, but when it's not on your side, it's not on your side. And it doesn't matter how hard you fight, it's like swimming against the tide. It doesn't matter how hard you swim, you're going downstream, going the wrong way.

you're swimming against the current. And really good traders are certainly ones that have an ability to say the market right now to to read the P L and say my P L is telling me this about the market. My P L of the last few weeks is telling me that the market is really choppy. It's telling me that this isn't a time to be swinging for home runs.

So the goal here is how can I make money in a in a choppy market Because sometimes the market's choppy and again you could say oh well, electric Vehicle stocks, you know, Nioh was up all day long. xpev I could have just held it and I would have been up. You know if I just held it. Yes, all those things are true.

Of course, active day traders are getting in, getting out, getting and getting out. and the amount of size that I took down here on this breakout for the squeeze over 67, there's no way I could have afforded to help hold that down to 63 right? 30, you know, or 10 000 shares or something like that be 30 000 loss. So although in hindsight, I would have done better today if I bought this and then you know, walked away from my computer for three hours. That's not day trading, that's just you know, That's just hoping that the stock you buy goes up over the next four hours.

That's just luck. Although, the way I traded today wasn't a very good strategy either. And it's not necessarily that any of the entries. If you go back to the individual entries that any specific entries were bad.

I mean any of the entries and I didn't trade this one, but like, look at this false break right here from seven and then flush down there like I wouldn't go. I wouldn't say oh man, if you'd taken that trade long at seven, that that was a bad entry. It's just the case that sometimes they go the wrong way, but when you're positioning yourself with really large share size and you're doing that, Let's say, in the afternoon or the late morning, that's when you're going to be exposing yourself to really unnecessary risk and drawdown is certainly a possibility. So yeah, Dpw, man, what a wild ride.

If we look back at some of the stocks that traded some of my biggest, um, biggest winners, the charts don't look like this. You know this was really. it was tricky. It was, and it got the best of me.

And I'm sure got the best of some short sellers. I'm sure there's a lot of us that are right on Dpw and are scratching our heads like how is this possible but that's the market and you know, uh, I guess the question here is after a big red day after the worst day of my career, how do I put back? how do I put the pieces back together? How do I? How do I come back tomorrow? You know, with a clean slate with a fresh perspective and the truth is, it's impossible. I can't come back tomorrow. Not carrying the anger of what happened today, what happened today.

I'm going to be upset until I go to bed. and I'm going to be upset when I wake up tomorrow because this for me is unacceptable. For the standard that I set for myself, this is completely unacceptable. I'm furious and that emotion, as long as I'm carrying that anger, it's going to impact my trade.

It's going to make me more likely to trade with huge size. You know, even though the right thing to do tomorrow is to say you know you're cut off on trading anything bigger than 2 000 shares just because you know you need a couple days just to kind of clean clear the slate just to sort of put some space between you and that that big loss. But the instinct tomorrow is going to be to trade with 40 and 50 000 shares. The instinct is going to be to try to rip a you know 50 000 winner in one trade to make back All this because again, think about how much better you'll feel about yourself if you make back your entire worst day of your career.

in one trade, you'll feel amazing. But when you set yourself up with that type of goal to try to make it all back in one trade, you're going to start taking crazy amounts of risk in a market that clearly doesn't call for it. and what you're more likely to do is have another big red day. and then maybe another big red day.

And the next thing you know over the course of four days, not only did you have your worst day of your career, maybe you had three of your worst worst days of your career all back to back to back. and now you've dug yourself a hole that's going to take weeks or months or maybe even years to get out. Or maybe you'll never get out of it because you've blown up your account the ability to trade from home. It's such a blessing.

It's such an amazing career. You never want to have a situation where your emotions overtake you to the point where you take trades that could sacrifice your ability to continue to trade. But many people have done it before and unfortunately, my account is large enough. That and you know, based on the profits, even just from last month 790 000 today, all things considered in perspective is still a blip on you know, four.

Four million dollars in profit this year 4.4 million. So you know I I I want to try to keep things in perspective To for those that are going to be, I'm going to be critical of myself. But for those who are going to be excessively critical of me, well show me your 4.4 million dollars in profit and show me you know your success as a trader before you start getting super critical of me. Again, Not to be like mean, but just let's be realistic here.

I'm down 37 000. All things all things in perspective. This is not the end of the world, but I'm going to be critical of myself just the way many of you would be very critical of yourself if you had a day that is the biggest red day of your career. Whatever that amount is, Maybe it's five thousand dollars, Maybe it's 20, 000.

Maybe it's 30. Maybe it's 100. Maybe it's 500. I don't know.

But whatever the biggest day is for you, it's all relative. Um, for those that are in the same situation of sitting on a big red day right now, or sitting on a red month or whatever the case is, I know that frustration. The level of frustration. I mean for me, today is like it's feels like a 10 out of 10.

I I would say today my frustration level. I wouldn't say it's a 10. I'd say my frustration level today is probably maybe I'm still in shock. I don't know because I've had days where I was a lot more angry than I am.

Right now. I've had days where you know I've take coffee cup and throw it across the room because I'm just so furious. I'm so upset with myself. Nothing is broken around me so that by itself tells me that I didn't hit a 10 today.

But um, but I am very upset and I'm really disappointed in myself. And uh, tomorrow's going to be a really tough day because there's certainly going to be a part of me that's like, what's even the point of coming in Like what's even what's even what's even the point. What's the point of trading with 2 000 shares? What Am I going to make 500 bucks? A thousand bucks? What's even the point? Why even bother? I'm down 37 thousand dollars. Why? Why even why? Why Why wouldn't lim? You know it's after the big red day that now I have to limit myself.

Which means you know, Tomorrow, Wednesday, you know, So on so forth. If I trade those days with 3 000 shares, I'm basically going to make nothing. I'm not going to put any meaningful dent into this loss. And so that's the part of me that's still emotionally fueled because the right thing to do is in fact, to trade with small size.

Because by trading with small size, what I'm doing is I'm stopping the bleeding. I'm preventing myself from having another day like this tomorrow, because that's not going to happen with two thousand shares, five or two thousand shares tomorrow or whatever the number is, I'm not gonna have a thirty seven thousand dollar red day. That's guaranteed. And that's important.

You have to stop the bleeding. I have to stop the bleeding. I cannot have. I was read on Thursday, so this is actually going to be probably combined my loss from Thursday and today the biggest draw down that I've had in my career off my all-time highs these two back-to-back red days.

So it's going to take me, um, obviously, some really good trading and some good markets to make back the loss. Now it's It's one thing to have. kind of like a freak, whatever. You know you get caught in a secondary offering all of a sudden you lose forty thousand dollars, but the market is still really hot.

In that circumstance, I might not ease off share size as much because I might just be like, chalk it up to okay, that was a freak accident that was crazy and it's disappointing, but it's just the way it goes. However, that's not really what today was today was almost. Today was the culmination of my emotions just boiling over. You know this is where I sat on the month before.

Let's see what is this. Um, this was before I guess Thursday. so you know red up down a little up down up. But then I know I gave back money on Thursday.

and then now I'm you know. Back down here today. to the point where I'll you know I've given back a lot of my month. So just the fact that this is the market that we're in of Red, Green, Red Green Red Green.

This and look at my average, look at my look at my metrics from and I'll just make this full screen for you to see. So look at my metrics from this month. Uh, 65 Accuracy Average Winners only 1400 Average losers are 2 000. let's look at the month of, um, the month of October: 3 100 average Winners Average losers were about the same accuracy was was better.

So you know you compare and contrast These two months my accuracy is down a little bit. I'm not feeling quite obviously as accurate. Not not crazy crazy low, but a little bit lower than average. But this is the big one right here.

My average winners are half the size of last month and that's the difference. That's the difference. Now I can't control how big my winners are going to be. You know, some stocks are going to go up like Dpw and they're going to just go crazy and others are just going to keep doing false breakouts.

And Dpw had a lot of false breakouts before it finally went. I don't even know. I mean, there's just so many of them. You know you can.

you see this one here. You see through here, which we really thought was going to be a re-test of the highs. You see that right here was a false breakout. Up here was a false breakout.

I mean, it's just like this was a false breakout. That was a false breakout. So you had this big flush here. Get the big flush right there.

The big flush right there. A pretty good size flush right here. And I can tell you that I lost money on this one. I lost money on this one.

I lost money on that one. I lost money on this one. I mean, it was like just unreal. And of course I missed that move.

God Unbelievable. Come on man. But that's the way it goes. Sometimes you're going to miss them.

I could have been sitting right here and still missed it because I looked away for a second. But I've gotten up and walked away. You know, an xpev? This was a stupid one for me to trade. It's such a choppy stock.

It's a large cap. It's a high priced stock. I was in it here, failed right there. Immediately comes back up to 74.

I mean, it was just again. Today I started grasping at straws. I was frustrated. I, you know, and so maybe let's analyze that for a second.

That frustration. I I don't even know if this is helpful for you guys. I, I don't know. Maybe I'll just delete the video.

It's I don't know It's probably not helpful for you guys, but whatever. Um, I'll just go through it anyways. and then maybe at the end, I'll just get rid of it. But um, so you know? Um, I don't know.

I guess what was I starting to say? Um, for me Today I got into a mindset where I was refusing to be read. What Is it? What is? I got to the point where being down five thousand dollars being down ten thousand dollars, um, financially is irrelevant. I mean, to be honest, even thirty seven thousand dollars is relevant when I'm up four million dollars on the year day trading, right? This. So the fact that I'm this mentally emotionally kind of like wound up.

That's that's the problem. It's not. It's not. It's not just um, it's it's not even the money.

It's actually not the money. It's what the money means. So what does it mean here Being down 10 000 being down 2000 on the day when I was up after I was up 17, Um, I felt like an idiot. I felt so angry with myself.

I felt stupid. It was a reflection that I had given back my entire day for a second time. And uh, I guess the the feeling that it created in myself was anger and disappointment of myself. The money.

That's just a reflection that I suck today. That's all it was. And so the the emotion was. You suck.

You're you've done a really bad job Today you read on the day you were read on Thursday. so it's two red days in a row. This is ridiculous. This is really frustrating.

Everything like you're just so. I just felt really frustrated and that's where I started Kind of grasping at straws a little bit because if I could finish the day green, if I could finish the day up 10 000 or maybe back up to 15 or 20, How that would make me feel about myself more than anything would make me feel from feeling like a zero to feeling like a hero. And that's how I felt when I was up 17.. I got I got the feel, the feeling I was like yes, I'm back, I'm up 17 000.

And then I was like okay, the Dpw is hot, I'm gonna keep going. I'm buying that first pullback. So that's when I started buying the first five minute pullback. right through here and next thing you know it goes from you know, a high of 639 all the way down to 517 and I gave it all back and that's when I started.

You know, later through this move I started saying all right you know what, I'm going back in this and through this consolidation here. You know I I was in it right here. Stopped out on that red candles, it came back down and each time I was in it I kept adding as it was going higher. It's adding and adding adding because I was like man, if this thing rips through 650, it's gonna go to seven.

I wasn't wrong, but my timing was wrong and you know I kept sizing up sizing up and then having to get back out, sizing up sizing up and having to get back out. And you know, if I was still holding right now my position from right here, I'd be back back to breaking. How's that? you know? But right in that drop. I mean, I I couldn't keep holding.

I could not keep holding. I was way too red so I had to let it go. And that's part of being a day trader and not obviously holding overnight. So you know, as a day trader, obviously we're capitalizing on very short moves.

and uh, you know, generally speaking, the strategy works really well, but there's just times where you just feel like every time I'm buying a pullback, it just goes lower. Every time I buy the first one to kill, make a new high, it does a false breakout. It's like just back to back to back. The market is just not on my side.

It's just not the same hot market that it was before. So I think today, you know and I've talked about this as a trigger For me. A trigger, Two triggers. one is when I get back half my day, which I already did right at the open because I went from up twelve thousand up only two grand.

and then I was aggressively trading to get myself back to Up 17 when I was up 17 000. And because I was in that really aggressive state, I wasn't able to step back and say enough's enough, I kept going and then went back down. And then I stayed in that aggressive state. because then I wanted to reclaim that feeling that I had when I was up 17..

And of course I knew Dpw had the had the potential, you know, but it didn't. It didn't cooperate, it didn't go by. You know, my schedule. it falls.

Did a false breakdown here, which ended up being a bear trap and then ripping right here. but then to a false breakout right here and then false nasty false breakout right here. so you know it's It's simply part of trading that there is no such thing as trader who's right 100 of the time that doesn't exist. Every single trader out there is going to have loss.

Every single trader out there is going to have red days. and as I've been, you know, kind of trying to gauge where other people are at. I've certainly seen other people talking about how this has been a difficult month for them. So it's You Know it's not just me, but then you could always ask yourself, well if it's been a difficult month for So many people, why do you keep hitting your head against the wall? Why do you keep trying to swim against the current? Why are you refusing to just accept that it's a slower market and that's a choppy market and just to make as much as you can.

And I think that that speaks to a challenge that many of us have coming off of a hot streak being content with smaller green days. You know? last month was an awesome month for me and I wanted this month to be an awesome month and so I kept stepping up to the plate and I just kept getting knocked back down again and again and again. and I'm getting myself more and more frustrated and the more and more frustrated I get, the more emotionally impulsive. I'll get to the point where that last Dpw trade, you know, I I didn't want to sell it, I was like no, I'm not selling this, This is stupid.

I'm not selling it and then I'm down like 30 grand on one trade. It was just it was basically one trade. I was already down. You know, I'd already gone from up 17 000 to down, uh, whatever it was.

But then it was that last trade that that put me over the edge big time. and that's very, very typical of me. In fact, if I look back at the my previous worst day of all time, my previous worst day of all time, was a day where I was sitting down like five thousand dollars. I was kind of taking stabs at anything that was moving.

I was trying to get myself back to Green and then kept kept losing. And then I took one trade and lost 25 grand to one trade. Just like that, I was down 30 grand. And at the time that blew up my account, that was, that was catastrophic.

I couldn't recover from it. That wasn't I mean relatively speaking, I hadn't just had a four million dollar a year. I was. I was very early at that point in my career and it was A.

it was a devastating day. So, but it was the same pattern. So I think that that's again the thing to dig deeper around. Why does that pattern keep coming up in me? Why do I keep? You know it.

So if you kind of look at the water flowing downhill and you're like wow, We keep getting water here in this god dang basement so you know you could sit there in the basement, pissed off that there's water and just scooping out the water, scooping out the water. We keep getting water down here or it's an opportunity to step back and kind of look at the greater structure that's in play. And there's a structure here that keeps ending in this result and some underlying structure, right? And this is getting a little deep, but just to think of it out loud, you know what is it that keeps winding me back to this spot where the water, just, you know, where. This is sort of the path of least resistance that every you know, six months or once a year? Whatever it is, I have kind of a big blowout day like this.

My worst day last year was thirty thousand dollars. That was on, uh, March 20th. My, um, I had a couple really bad days earlier this year, which I was able to kind of chalk up as being like, well, even though those were bad days relatively speaking, this year's been so good that you know, just you gotta just take it with a grain of salt. So um, what's that? Let's see, I'm trying to remember when those days were.

No, they were further. I think they were in August. Um, a 19 000 red day right there? That was a bad one. Um, September 27, 000 Right there.

That was a bad one. and then 11 000 the very next day, right? So you know it. Your winners are often clustered together and your losers are clustered together. But you know you can see.

like every so here, it's only like two months later that I've that I'm having another really really big day red day. And to be realistic, we're not talking about being that much further red than I was Monday or even then, uh, Thursday was a bad day. So so if we just kind of think out loud on this, um, I'm down 37 000 for someone that just asked, um, on the day right now. So and yeah, I'm feeling kind of annoyed because if I just held Dpw, this one just went to 850.

But you know again, if I just held and hoped that would be that would be really bad, That would be really really bad. You really can't do that. You just can't do it. Um, I'm just.

I'm just telling you, you can't do that stuff Because you do. You do a hold and hope on some of these stocks and I don't know. All of them today actually held up relatively well. But some of these you hold and hope and you're gonna be sitting on a stock.

down. Five dollars a share. You know what I mean. Like you could be, It could be catastrophic and it doesn't matter on the share size.

If you just hold and hope, you know. Let's just look back at um uh, Dpw here from some of these days. So today's the first green day. What if you held in hope on this day with along at 6 50 going into the close, you know.

Let's just say you know this thing was back at two bucks couple days later. I mean something like that, 30 000 shares could be a sixty seventy thousand ninety thousand dollar loss in one trade. The biggest loss that I've ever had here. Uh, is thirty one thousand one trade.

And actually, I didn't break that today. Uh, I didn't exceed that in one trade today. Uh, but I was certainly close, but I didn't quite hit that level. so.

But anyway. so so let's go back to just thinking about this underlying structure. Um, and maybe this will help me break out of it? It's doubtful, but just be hope. Be optimistic.

maybe. Um, so we've got this underlying structure that every six weeks, or every eight weeks, or every three months, or whatever it is, you know, ends up coming down to this kind of big loss. I don't think I have any good pieces of paper. Um, it's like ridiculous, but whatever.

I'll write on the back of this. Um, so um, let's see. So what's what's governing that? Um, well, there's a couple things. Number one, I've talked about.

the very fact that there's I have two big triggers. One is if I give back my entire day of profit and I go from daily gold to red, that for me can be a massive trigger for me to just get super aggressive, super angry. The problem is that if I had um, and even giving back half my daily goal is is the second one. So when I had given back half my daily goal, that was um, I don't know.

That was like uh in this area. I mean it was like 10, 30, 10 in the morning. It was pretty early on so that would have meant if I had followed that rule and knocked myself out and said listen, you gave back half your daily goal, You gotta walk away today up only two thousand dollars. That's definitely better than minus thirty seven thousand, but it would have mean would have meant that I would miss this whole move.

Now the fact is, I actually traded this whole move and I still lost money on. But the part of me that just gets fomo so bad is the part of me that's gonna say that I would have made money on it. That would have been like dude, you would have crushed it if you had traded that. you would have made a hundred thousand dollars because it's so easy to look at the class you know, half full in that way and just say you definitely would have made money on it and couldn't fathom that somehow I would have been able to screw up every entry and then get caught in like three of the biggest drawdowns and flushes that it had.

So the thing for me is that I have a really hard time walking away. Uh, Red. So you know if I said all right, if I'm down, if I'm down a thousand dollars like I could set, I have a max loss on my account right now and I have it set at minus twenty thousand. So you can see right here.

So it said at minus twenty thousand. So if I'm below twenty thousand, I can't take another trade, there's it. Won't let me Now I could set that to minus one thousand. And if I go red on the day, even on one trade, I'm done.

so that would have the effect that my first trade has to be a winner. Otherwise, you know that's it. Have there been days where I've gone down five thousand and then finished the day up 25 or 30.? Absolutely, you know. But on a day like today, I, if you have that one last trade where you're really emotionally fueled, you can just blow through your max loss and then you're way way below it.

So ultimately it's it's about thinking about how can I get good at stopping when I'm starting to feel myself unravel, where I'm starting to feel myself getting angry, getting really, really frustrated, getting emotional, and how I'm trading trading with really big positions and all that stuff. And the reality is it's I'm gonna let you a little bit off the hook for and even myself for falling victim to that. Because in the moment, in the moment when I'm taking that 30 000 share position and I'm already down 10 000 on the day I'm emotionally hijacked, I'm totally emotionally hijacked. I'm trading on anger, frustration, and fomo and my ability to make really good decisions for myself.

my ability to maintain composure. It's gone, and it's probably been gone for a while. And that's why it's so easy to look at things the next day and be like what was I thinking And the fact is, it was your reptilian emotional brain that was doing the thinking. It was doing the trading for you.

You let it take the wheel and you may not have known exactly where the switch happened, where you kind of lost control and you just kind of gave in to Fomo into impulse. But somewhere along the line it happened. And if I look at every single one of my big red days, on every single one of those days, there was a point where I was, uh, probably calm, cool, and collected and then lost my composure. And it may have been on my first trade in the morning, or it may have been on my 10th trade.

Maybe it was on my 15th trade, but there was a point where there wasn't. There was a well-defined turning point. I would say this morning as I kind of think back on my day, I'm trying to think about where my turning point was. I mean, to be honest, I think my turning point was the loss on Kxin where I went from up 12 000 on the day back to um, I think it was on.

It was like right in here. It was somewhere right in here where I went from up twelve thousand on the data up only two grand and that's the point. That's the spot where I was like immediately was bringing back. I was read on Thursday I just had 10 000 and I just gave it back.

I don't remember where that trade was, it might have been. I can't remember if I took this trade right here or if I took this trade right here. I think I actually took. I think I took both of them.

um I think it was this one right here. I think it was this one that got me so that trig right there. I went from up 12 000 on the day to up on the 2000 and I was pissed. That was it you know and um then it ripped back up right here and got halted going up and I bought 20 000 shares as it was ripping up very aggressive fomo impulse just trying to get back what I lost and I got it back right? But then I ended up losing a little bit of it and when I was up only 7 000 and I ended my my morning I you know I just I was.

um I was not happy with that but that that was the turning point. You know it, there's no p There's no there's things you can do in light speed like you can set max share size. so like I can go in here and I can set my max share size that you know whatever I want. So 10 000 shares for tomorrow.

Let's say I can call Rob at Lightspeed. I can say hey set the max loss on my account of ten thousand dollars. You know I can do all that stuff. The one thing that you know they that that they don't have is A at least with Lightspeed is it.

If you've given back half your daily goal, stop trading. Um and I wish they had that because that that's one that is such a trigger. For me it's such a trigger. But you know the The fact is even if I had walked away uh up only 2 000 today tomorrow morning I probably would have looked.

Tomorrow I'd sit down and I'd look at the chart on Dpw and I'd I'd be pissed. I'd be like are you kidding me? You know I I walked away with only two thousand dollars yesterday and then this thing proceeded to go from 350 all the way to 850. you know I I that rule is stupid. I should get rid of that rule because that rule kept me out of what could have been.

You know, a great great trait. As it turns out, having actually traded it, this one was not the easiest dock I've ever traded. It's far from it. I don't know why.

Some are easier than others, some are more predictable than others, and some are just choppy. But this one was not an easy one. So you know tomorrow. I don't know.

I. I just don't always know what the solution is because you know if I really do walk away. Uh, the biggest challenge is the next day when I sit down not over compensating due to the Fomo of missing that previous move. I mean at the end of the day.

I suppose it all comes down to no matter how many type of systems you try to set up of. If you lose this, then do this. If this happens, do that with your account to try to cut yourself off at the pass. There are always going to be events in the market.

Whether it's a stock that stops you out and then proceeds to go up 200 percent. that can be a trigger for Fomo. There's going to be a lot of triggers and you have to find a way to learn to deal with it. And so you know with the work that we do with Ted, um, you know we.

we would say that a big part of it is radical acceptance that this is how I'm feeling. Right now. I'm feeling Fomo. I am feeling angry and I want to be in a really hot market.

but clearly it's not as hot as it was. Again, Not to say this didn't make a big move today because it did. but it was in the way it did. it was not, it just took.

It was just very different from some of the big Momentum stocks that we've seen. I didn't trade it well and um, I just have to have that mindfulness about me that tomorrow is going to be a real challenge and it's going to be really hard for me to fight the instinct to trade with big size, to try to be really aggressive to try to have a a big winner. And if we see this tomorrow at like 12 pre-market I'm gonna be obviously super annoyed. I'm gonna feel like unbelievable.

You know this is ridiculous. If this tomorrow goes 12 16, 18 bucks it's gonna. I'm gonna have a really hard time putting today completely aside, but I just have to be really careful as I trade it that you know I trade good quality setups and I let the stock prove itself to me because if it's choppy again tomorrow and it does a bunch of false breakouts and then it goes, you know, then maybe I just have to wait for the next one and not try to force it and over trade one. that's just for whatever reason a little bit more difficult.

A lot of the electric vehicle stocks have been difficult. Dpw's um, it's a different stock but yeah, I mean again, I I don't have, I don't have the the magic secret you know ticket for solving this problem. because if I did, I would never have these types of days. But I I've seen you know, keeping again big picture.

I've certainly seen other traders out there that allow these kind of red days to really spiral where they'll be down one hundred thousand, Two hundred, Three hundred thousand dollars in one day and then that's a huge hole to try to dig yourself out of. I'm not really good at reading the writing on the wall that the market is choppy and that you should just try to make the best you can out of it and not try to be hitting home runs. But all things considered, I've been pretty good. I guess at managing risk relative to my account size and the growth that I've uh, that I've produced Days like today just really upset me because I you know I'm walking away with my tail between my legs.

Big red day. I obviously did the best I could and that wasn't good enough today. Not even close, you know, and things just didn't. Um, things just weren't working for me and obviously you can see I trade a lot of stocks and things weren't working for me on the majority of stocks I traded.

I'm only green on four stocks right now. Although I was green on Dpw, I gave it all back and although I was green on Kxin, I gave it all back. I was green on Ayro as well and I gave it all back. So I over traded.

My commissions are going to be brutal. I dug myself a hole and the right thing to do tomorrow is to stop the bleeding to try to bring down the emotions which are obviously running high right now for me. For whatever reason, they're just really running high. Um, the frustration.

I suppose that this month hasn't shaped up to be the month I was really thinking and hoping it would be. Um, the pressure that I would have a big the pressure that I put on myself have a really big green month? Um, and I've just fallen short of it by a lot. And then the frustration that I keep getting nailed on these false breakouts and some of them are so nasty and it's infuriating and then just trying to swing bigger and bigger. You know it's like the more angry you get the harder you hit it and that's kind of what happens and sometimes you'll hit your your home, your home run grand slam.

If I had been this aggressive trading last month, I probably would have been up a million and a half dollars. You know? last month I wasn't trading 50 60, 000 shares of some of the stocks that I've been trading that size with this month. So why is it that I'm trading with such big size when the market is so choppy? It's because I'm getting frustrated, It's because I'm trying to hit a big win. And obviously I need big size to hit big wins and I just keep coming up short.

So many of those trades with smaller size could have been base hits. But when you're swinging for a home run, you know, with 20 30 000 shares, 10 cents isn't a base hit. 10 cents. I mean, you're not going to be able to lock that up.

do a slippage. A lot of times you need 40 50 cents. So all of a sudden with 20 000 shares, you're needing 20 to 40 cents to have a good trade. Whereas with 2 000 shares, you know five to eight 10 cents can be a decent little trade.

It's a base hit, but it can be a decent trade. That's a scalability issue in the market, and the problem for me is that although in hindsight, it probably would have made more money and or and or certainly lost a lot less trading with much smaller size over the past, um, two weeks, I would have never had a chance at hitting a home run and I think that's that. Always trying to set myself up for that potential home run. and you know, obviously I'll have one sooner or later, But what I'm doing right now is not working well.

and so tomorrow, to be honest, if I'm red on my first trade, I should probably just walk away because I'll immediately I'll be like god damn right because I'll be thinking 37 000 plus another 1200. Now I'm down 39 000. I won't be able to help myself from thinking that. So I better go small tomorrow to start, because if I take 20 000 shares and lose seven grand on my first trade, I'm gonna be really pissed.

And then I'm gonna think all right. Next trades. Forty thousand shares. First, I gotta make back the seven thousand I just saw.

And and that's that's where things start to really escalate and you've gotta cut that cycle. That's where you've got to stop the bleeding. And the best way to do it is to put yourself into that trait of rehab of trading with small size. And I hate, I hate doing it.

No one wants to do it, no one wants to throttle themselves back because it guarantees that you won't have a big win. But what's more important is that it ensures you won't have a really big loss. And that's more important right now. And if I had had a better month, I wouldn't have to put myself into this self-imposed boot camp.

But it's my own fault. so it is what it is. I just got to try to scrape up the pieces for November. This month is a disaster.

I'm super disappointed in myself, but it is what it is. and so that's you know, part of trading. It's one step forward. One step back.

It feels that way. Um, certainly this month, so we'll just try to take it in stride. and I'll see, you know, who knows. Maybe tomorrow we'll have some nice momentum in a smaller size.

I can catch a couple trades, but and the way the market's been these last two weeks, this is just not a market that calls for full share size. So even though my emotions tomorrow are going to be fighting and saying trade with fifty thousand shares, let's get a two point rip on Dpw. With fifty thousand shares, that'll be a hundred thousand dollar winner and all of your frustrations from you know, yesterday are gonna be gone. What's more likely to happen is you jump in 50 000 shares and we get a one dollar drop and you just lost 50 grand and now it's hitting a level of emotional frustration that is unthinkable, right? I think that's the thing that it's like.

it can always get worse. So um, you know I totally hear the feedback of, um, you know, dude, your biggest green day is 225 000 This year, you've you're getting super bad out of shape over being down 37 000 likes, you know, suck it up. I hear that and my initial response to it is, um, it's clearly that I'm I'm holding myself to an unrealistic standard because my initial response is that yeah, okay, but being down 37 000 is unacceptable and going from up 17 to down 37 is pathetic and that that is not an acceptable performance on my car. So I think that that's kind of, I don't know.

like a personality trait in myself that torments me because I am a livid with myself when I don't perform at a level that I know I should perform at, and when I make a mistake that I've made before, it makes me furious. So you're right. This 37 000 that I've lost I I, I'm not even going to know the difference a week. I mean, it has zero impact on my life losing that thirty seven thousand.

It's in a retirement account for one, so none of the money in that account I can't even touch until I'm retired. So it makes it makes absolutely no difference. But it's what it reflects and it reflects that. Today I let my emotions get the best of me.

Today I created from a place of anger and frustration. I spun my wheels until I finally, just, you know, really got a good, um, good pullback. So um, I don't know. You know it's um, again, yeah, it's it's greed and frustration and anger.

It's all of those emotions and I let them. You know they took they got me today and no matter how long you trade, no matter how good you are, there will probably be a day that it happens to you. and hopefully this video will, um, will help people that watch it down the road. If I end up keeping it online, I don't know, we'll see how I feel tomorrow I guess.

um, again, scrambling more than anything. But uh, maybe it's helpful for some of you guys because this is just part of trading so you know I'll throw up my disclaimer here again. I try to be very transparent that this is, um, without a doubt, one of, um, probably the one of the one of the more difficult careers out there. Uh, I know it's easy.

Where's this thing? Come on nice. Not playing ridiculous. There we go. Um, you know it's this is like the the the hardest Easy job Because it's easy because I'm sitting here in my i could be sitting here, my pajamas, sitting on my couch if I want to.

So from that perspective, you know it's certainly easier than manual labor and stuff like that. But it's such a mental game and that's the biggest challenge. It's the mental game and it's like a puzzle and you know anytime you lose you're like wanna come back just all right. And sometimes coming back swinging works.

Sometimes it works, but sometimes coming back swinging you just keep getting knocked down until you're like wow, I'm just totally humbled by the market. and because today, every time I kind of lost, I came back swinging big And that's how I went from you know, only 2000 to up 17 swinging big but I kept doing that and then came right back down. You know, So when I went back down that second time, I was swinging big to try to swing back up and I lost. But you're right, you know it's It's possible that you know that part of me tomorrow if the market cooperates.

Which with Dpw up at 869 after hours, maybe it will. But who knows. maybe this will do us some offering or something stupid like that and ends up dropping. I don't know.

Well, I have no idea. but uh, you know? sure. Maybe maybe we do see fireworks on this tomorrow. Maybe we do see a move up to 10 15? whatever.

But maybe it's just as hard tomorrow and maybe I still managed to lose money on it. Maybe it's just not the one I don't know. You know, Xk, Kxin? Who knows? Maybe tomorrow that one continues higher. Xpev these electric vehicle stocks.

These are definitely sucking some momentum out of the market because people are focusing on these ones a lot. And they're not what would typically be day trading. You know, Tesla? I mean, these are all just. these are tricky names.

So yeah, in hindsight, it would have been better if I invested my whole account in Tesla and walked away this month. But that's not trading. That would have just been hope and prayer. So I traded this month.

I was in there in the trenches, had some big winners, had some big losers have not been able to get on the right side of momentum. I'm sitting down 37 000 on the day. Right now it's the worst red day I've ever had by seven grand. Worst day was thirty thousand.

So uh, topped my worst day. It's not what I was planning on doing today, but it is what it is and it's just a part of trading. It's the part about it that I hate though because it's the you know I mean it's I don't know. I think about like professional athletes and like uh, you know to what extent they you know like losing losing.

You know losing. You know you're in the Nba, or you know you're in the Nfl or whatever. You know losing is. it's part of the game.

Having read having having losing games, you might make your way all the way to the Super Bowl and then lose. It's just I don't know. I I would presume that they hold themselves to kind of a similar standard that I do, which is that you've got to perform every single game every single day and they're going to be hard on each other and hard on themselves if they don't perform because this is kind of a performance sport so you know it's gonna be. I think probably part of the game having losses but being totally cool with it.

I don't know if I'll ever get there. I just don't know. I mean again, you know if I had stopped today up only 2000 Uh, and I had that cut off, then I wouldn't be sitting on this really big red day, so that would be certainly easier to handle emotionally. But tomorrow morning, I might come in with major Fomo because I've missed this huge move because I see it after the fact.

and then maybe I take take out that Fomo and on the first trade tomorrow I lose 16 grand. you know what I mean. So I I don't know at the end of the day. Or who knows.

maybe I lose 30 grand on that first trade. So I don't know. Um, you never know, You never know. But whatever, it is what it is.

Uh, I probably should just take the day off tomorrow. but I won't. I'll come in as I always do, and sit down and try not to embarrass myself too much more. Maybe I'll who knows.

Maybe I'll finish, finish tomorrow with a green day. Anything green would be good tomorrow just to clear the slate. So all right, that's it for me. I'm gonna, um, I'm gonna just put it, put it behind me as much as I can and come back tomorrow and again.

I think that if your personality in any way is like mine, where you'd be feeling this kind of frustrated over this type of day, well you probably have what it takes to be a successful trader because I think that this, this is part of it You know this anger and frustration, this not being okay with being read. This is all part of it. This is part of what has made me. I think successful.

I think that's probably the biggest. um, the biggest irony is that the um, the part of me that is kind of so sometimes miserable because I make myself so upset and so angry. um is what's made me successful so I don't know what to do with that. But whatever.

All right, I gotta go. I'll see you guys. See you guys tomorrow Tomorrow's a new day.