This is going to be a little bit of an unusual video. I'm going going to share something with you that has nothing to do with finance or stocks economics. But i really wanted to make this video because i feel that even though it will probably not get any views at all and i'm assuming. It's going to get a couple.

Hundred views. I feel like it can do a lot of good. So this is just my way of sending goodness into the world hoping that it will make a difference in a few people's life. And if a few people feel like their life improved.

Because of that i feel like it's worth sacrificing. You know a dumpster fire or a video that underperforms for that purpose that's enough for the you know why i'm doing this video. So in this video. I want to share a story with you and this story initially is going to be a little unpleasant.

But at the end of that i think you will understand where i'm going with this so i i spoke about this story. Before on my podcast with the mid. But as i'm sure that not a lot of you watch our little podcast. I'm gonna tell the story again so what ended up happening with me throughout my childhood is that i went through a lot of mess being an immigrant kid messed me up and also the dynamic in my family and no hate to my parents whatsoever you know um i i appreciate them and everything and they they were really good parents.

But in my household. I always felt like number two compared to my sister and you know it doesn't really matter now i'm in my 40s. But i mean even though. My parents were great they always gave me everything i needed and always were there for me and helped me out whatever so no issues at all my parents.

But i always felt like they had a closer relationship with my sister than with me and in that respect when i grew up it almost kind of lost its meaning in fact i completely forgot about it you know when you become older you're in your 40s. You have kids you have a mortgage you have bills to pay you have a job whatever it kind of becomes insignificant. Oh. I was the least favorite child who gives a you know grow up right so anyways so a few days ago.

I go to recital of my middle child. And she's amazing and she has a dense recital and i basically it's me my wife and my oldest and my youngest is with grandpa because it's not for him. I mean he can he can't last through a whole recital. And i asked my mom to come along and she says.

Yes. She's all excited about it and that's great and we i sit next to my mom and we watch the show and then i notice that she's texting on on the whatsapp group with my dad and my sister. So basically. I just realized they have a whatsapp group and without me my family has like two parents in the kid.

Without the other kid whatsapp group. And it brought up a lot of like nasty from the past where like i was like oh. And then instead all you know all this nastiness started going back up back to relevance. And then i remembered oh.

That's not the first time this happens. And i got really upset about it i basically eventually told you know told. My mother that wasn't cool and told. My sister that wasn't cool.

But at the end of the day. I'm going to be angry at them for a little bit. But i'm going to let them off the hook. Why because my main purpose in life at this point is for them to have a relationship with my kids and be nice.

Grandma and grandpa and for my sister to be there for them so i'm not looking for a long term fight. I'm going to probably be angry for a couple days. And you know i'm going to move on because it's not it's not about you know that relationship doesn't really matter anymore at that point. It's about my kids now and that's the end of it.

But basically what i realized that even though i completely forgot about this even in my 40s. All it took is one little incident to make everything go up again and make me mad you never heal from this that happens in your childhood. Where your parents car you sometimes unintentionally and then i realized i'm doing the same thing not in the same way as in preference. But in the way that i'm putting so much expectation on my oldest kids.

So my all my kids all three of them are amazing. They're amazing in every way possible. I'm not saying this because i'm their parent objectively. They're amazing and each of them has their own thing something they really excel at and my oldest she's brilliant bro.

She is top of her class. And like just gifted like iq out of the stratosphere etc. Etc. Etc.

And i always put this pressure on her because. She's the oldest to excel in everything. And i i always kind of put this pressure on her to be also do to take care of her brother and her sister and when she like gets into fights with them over minutia stuff. I like i let her have it these expectations like i'll tell you listen you're supposed to be the grown up and how come you you know fighting with your sister over which color marker.

You're using et. Cetera et. Cetera. You're supposed to be empowering your kids your brothers and sisters and i always put these expectations on her back and that's not cool and even though my intentions are good what i'm creating here is a dynamic where i'm always telling her even though she's amazing in every way possible always focus on what she cannot do and i'm always highlighting that and she's gonna grow up to hate me for that and rightfully so and i realized i gotta stop doing this it's not cool.

I should not be putting all this expectations on her back about something specifically one thing. She's not the best at even. Though she does 99 other things amazing and just basically those are off just lay off. Obviously you have to put boundaries right you have to make sure that you don't let them you know run the mark.

But i mean boundaries aside. I mean you don't have to be an and try to highlight the things that they can't do yet. I mean. It is what it is so anyways.

I learned this lesson and i thought it would be really viable story to share with you but i also think it's a good opportunity to kind of share some of the other stuff. I learned so i've been a parent for almost 10 years. Now and i've learned a lot of so this was just one of them which i just recently learned just a couple days ago. So i'm always learning.

But the stuff i picked up along the way i thought you guys that are young parents or future. Dads or whatever you kind of want to you know hear about so here goes. So these are the few things i kind of picked up along the way initially when i just was a young parent. I was all serious and and like hyper focused on on everything and super.

Uptight and i just realized as the as the more you have more kids. And more kids you just realize bro don't take yourself so seriously bro. I mean just relax you can laugh at yourself you can laugh at the situation. Like for example.

If my sometimes i still do that to this day. When my youngest like he spills something or he breaks something and sometimes i'll be like all in this girl. Like why why did you do that and sometimes i'll just say you know it it happens. It's not a big deal.

It wasn't on purpose when the letter happens when i just you know kind of don't take it too seriously. I feel great and he feels great and when the first happens we both feel like so that's number one just take things easily don't be so uptight about things. The other thing is is this is a story that happened with my youngest. There's a pattern here so he was we were playing playing catch.

And he couldn't catch the ball and he didn't want to play anymore. Because he couldn't do it he and no matter how much i tried he wouldn't play anymore he just wanted to go home. He was crying and i was really like angry at him in the car. Why did you give up why do you cry you're supposed to get over it and i will teach you that's like you shouldn't you shouldn't quit because you can't succeed in the first time.

That's not and basically got all up in this grill go back home we sit on the couch. I make him some some dinner. He we we watch some tv together and then i look at him. And i said.

I said listen i'm really sorry for what happened no my he's a five year old kid. So you have to understand the context of this conversation. He reacted like a grown up and they said listen dad. It's okay i love you he's a five year old kid.

It's okay i love you and then i gave him a hug and i said again. I said listen i'm so sorry i i was unpleasant too and he said. It's okay i love you again and then uh. We basically kept watching tv together and i felt great but i realized that again like putting all these expectations on your kids.

I guess that's the lesson. The panel just keeps coming back here it's a really bad idea bro just accept the fact that they can't do every single thing you expect them to exactly the right way especially if they're nine or five. Now that's just something that i think that the main thing that these two experiences they taught me is about humility as a parent. I mean you think you know everything i learned from my kids.

All the time and i used to not be able to do it so. When my kids would sometimes tell me hey. What you're doing is not the right way to do it. And i was like oh you're kids.

I'm a grown up i know better sometimes more often than you would expect shockingly more often than you would expect your kids are actually writing you wrong. And there's something to be learned from your kids and being you know able to learn from your kids is actually something that took me a long time to master. But now i'm absolutely killing it and it's okay and i always tell this to my kids grown ups can learn from kids just as much as kids can learn from grown ups. And i think that's an important skill you have to master as a parent.

The other thing is like again something i was used to struggling with i always have like a schedule and like we have to do this today sometimes. It's okay to just throw away your plan and just have fun with your kids. So i'll have this day planned out with my kid. We go to this museum and then we go this and then my dad says my story my kid just says hey i just want to play catch or just then kick the ball around in the parking lot some nonsense like this but i have all this planned out and we have this amazing day we have tickets in the waterloo sometimes.

It's okay to just say it just play catch. All the plans and then you end up having the best afternoon. Ever of all time. I had this happen with my kid multiple times that's really important and the last thing.

I'm just going to finish this video with and this is something i learned from my parents. Because my parents like my mom. She used to say that my dad never like oh. I love your son.

I've never i don't think i'm not sure if i heard it maybe. He said it i don't think i heard it once from my dad i'm not sure i don't want to my trash on my dad. He might have said it i just don't remember i don't think i maybe if he said it once or twice ever. I tell your kids you love them every single day and i make sure to actually do that every single day.

I tell them i love them every morning before i drop them off to school tell them i'm proud of them tell their amazing kids that i'm proud to be their dad. Every single day. Don't assume they just know it because you're their parent. Um yeah.

So that's kind of just i can make more of these i can come up with 10. More so if you guys want me to do more of these just let me know i'm assuming not but just kind of my thoughts about parenting and my my advice to the young dads out there a current or future. And yeah. That's all i got to say about it have a great weekend later.

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